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The next two days flew by. They were not productive days for me - not like I cared about that - due to the unhealthy amount of time I spent in front of the TV screen, either with a game controller or a remote control. By the end of Tuesday, I began preparing physically and mentally to resume work. It wasn't a job I liked, but I also didn't loathe the experience. For one, it was an awesome way to keep me from thinking about how much my life sucked. Also, it helped me socialize a bit. The grocery store and the club were the only places I got to have interactions with people and even though I didn't want to admit it, it still felt goodto see unfamiliar faces that mostly don't want to prey on your emotions. Okay... that applied mostly to the grocery store.
Soon enough, Wednesday came and it was time to go to work. I had barely seen Alessandro on Monday and Tuesday, but waking up on Wednesday, I caught him when I was preparing for work. He was leaving around the same time I was, and he gratefully accepted a generous slice of toasted sandwiches that I offered. He offered me a ride to work, but on discovering that it was almost completely opposite from his own direction, I turned him down.
On the journey to work, I pondered on Alessandro. This handsome Italian God, given flesh and sent to live amongst mankind. Did ladies in New York know that he existed? I reflected back on Friday night and thought of the waste it'd have been if he had died that day. Maybe he had more handsome friends that had died that day; I didn't know. I didn't notice anyone but him in that event, and it took a lot of time, even into the next day before his beauty began to make meaning enough for me to drool. What I even found more intriguing was his openness. Sometimes, it mildly insulted me how he could be so free around me. In these parts, that meant that you were too little of a threat to be cautious about. He allowed me to cook and ate things I cooked in his absence without a second thought. It warmed my heart to how much he trusted me.
Work dragged on slowly, a feeling I found strange, but I knew it was because I now had something to look forward to. It was similar to Friday nights, but this time the gut feeling of expectation was relatively newer. Apart from that, my liquor crave began to kick in. I wasn't dead set addicted, but there wasthat part in my tongue that just yearned for the bitter-sweet sting of the hot Bulleit Bourbon, and I couldn't wait for the end of my shift.
When the clock finally struck seven, I fled from my workplace before staff could reconvene and share fake or genuine condolences. To be honest, I just wanted to go home and sleep. The urge to drink something feisty was so great but I tried my best to avoid any bar that I passed. I was immensely lucky that Fauxwood's was not enroute to Alessandro's house. I'm not sure I had it in me to shun such temptations.
Immediately when I got home, I tried to make whatever I did in the living room as quick as possible. I went into the kitchen to microwave the take-out mac and cheese I got from a local vendor and practically swallowed the entire thing whole, not minding the heat. I made a beeline for the kitchen when something caught my peripheral view. Sitting proudly on the mini bar were at least seven unopened bottles of Bulleit Bourbon.
"What the fuck is going on?" I said out loud to myself as I approached the bar like someone casted a spell on me. Tranced, I made my way to the bar and held up a bottle. There was one that was half empty, so after appreciating the full one, knowing fully well that I wouldn't finish a full bottle, I helped myself to the half empty one.
Finding a shot glass in the array, I poured myself a shot and took a quick sip. "Fuuuucckkk," I moaned as the haze hit me. It was going to be a while before the main effects began to kick in, but I wasn't ready to wait that long. After two more shots within the space of five to ten minutes, I began to feel light.
"That should do it," I sighed to myself and loosened the top buttons of my shirt. As all alcohol frequenters would narrate, there is always this voice that wants more, especially when the opportunity is created. The kind of voice that says, "One more shot is all I'll take now, and I'm done." It happened to me until my tenth, when I couldn't find the coordination to lift the glass to my mouth anymore.
I heard the door open, and I could have sworn I saw three Alessandro's walking into the apartment.
"Yay! Allie is back. Allies...are back," I cheered and tried to stand up, but I underestimated the whiskey's strength to do damage to my legs. Almost as soon as I stood, I came toppling down in a pile, but I never reached the ground. I fell into strong arms. Arms that promised safety... comfort.
"Wee! Swing me around Allie!" I screamed as he picked me up and walked. The entire seven or so steps he took seemed like a rollercoaster ride. Everything spun until I came face to face with a toilet seat.
"Uurghh," I retched. All the while, since the living room, Alessandro had been muttering things that were too incoherent. In the next set of seconds that prevailed, my drunken brain deduced that he wanted me to throw up.
"I don't want to," I said in protest and gripped his chin forcing him to face me.
"I don’t want to...uuurghh..." the first gas bubble came out...and then the next. In the next instant, my stomach began to give up the contents of both the alcohol and the macaroni, reducing the toxicity in my brain and making me slightly lucid. After some more seconds and some more retches, I settled back and looked up to Alessandro's gray eyes.
"I fucked up," I laughed.
"Seems so," he agreed.
He helped me stand and guided me to the sink to rinse my mouth. Since the effect of the alcohol was still prevalent, I had not yet gained full control of my limbs and had to lean on Alessandro for support. When I finally hit the bed, I took him down with me.
All of a sudden, in a moment of vulnerability, I burst into tears.
"I really did fuck up," I cried feeling ashamed of myself. Alessandro tried to comfort me, but I pushed him away. He was persistent though and ended up getting his way. He engulfed me in his arms as I cried, and I did so for a very long time. Feeling his warmth helped comfort me into sleep. A sleep I didn't believe I deserved.
Chapter 6
The next day, despite the hangover, I had to go to work. Actions have consequences and this was the consequence for my action. Alessandro had left before I woke up and it wasn't because he woke earlier.
I got to work so late; a lot of customers had already started shopping. I saw my supervisor covering my spot at the counter and I had to write an apology letter to avoid a query - something I had surprisingly never gotten despite my atrocious habits. I had managed to keep the demon fun side of myself away from work and other formal relationships. I tried my best to focus during work hours, but the headache was just too much. During my break, I had to chug down a dangerous amount of aspirins to get me through the last part of the shift.
This time, I stayed after my shift ended to accept apologies from my colleagues to not appear rude and snobbish. Some ofthem, like Mrs. Baker, the woman on the opposite counter who had this mother figure appearance gave a speech so touching, it actually brought tears to my eyes as well as hers. In the end, they offered to take me to dinner, but I politely declined and shifted the date to another day when they persisted.
After getting home, I didn't even eat. Since I already knew it was there, it called me immediately as I stepped through the threshold. I answered without protest and in thirty minutes, I had managed to get myself in a worse state than last night. I just wanted to get rid of the pit of guilt that was still lodged deep into my heart over my father's death. But it didn't seem to work. Not until I was too wasted to think of anything.
Again, Alessandro came to meet me in the same spot he met me the previous day.
"Sienna!" he groaned and made to help me up, but I pushed him fiercely.
"Leave me be, you sexy demon!" I cried.
"Listen. You're piss drunk, tigre; you need to lean on me." He moved towards me again, but I shrunk dramatically away from him like he was a serial killer.
