AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“We can, Em. I truly believe—”
“You keep saying that, Cal. And I know lots of people do the long-distance thing all the time. I just…don’t know if I can do this with you.”
“No, Em, you can.Wecan. This is just new. We’ll figure it out.”
Emily sighs. It’s the sigh I most dislike. For some time now, I’ve heard that sigh regularly. And it’s normally followed by an exit, whether it be in person or over the phone.Am I really the only one in this relationship who thinks we can make it?“Whatever you say. I’ve got to run. There’s a study group in thirty minutes and I need the feedback on my research methodology homework.”
“Okay, cool, I’ll call you tomorrow. Same time.”
“Okay, Cal.”
“I love y—”
The line is dead before I can finish. Panic crawls up my insides as I try to figure out just how the hell my life has become utter shit. How the hell did I go from knowing what’s in front of me to being stranded in a city I don’t know, away from all the people I care about, with a team that doesn’t seem to want me? This is all too…new. Too…different. And my girlfriend?She’s made it clear how much she doesn’t want me.Fuck, surely, I don’t have to lose her too.
And it’s not just because I’m a creature of habit. I love Emily. We’re good together, having spent nearly three years together. How can she want to end things as if I’m so easy to discard? Right now, theonlycomfort I have is the game of hockey.
Times like these, when I’m feeling out of sorts, I’d head to my mom’s place. Instead, I have to text her, and thank fuck, she responds quickly. As usual.Somethings never change.
She knows me, knows when I need attention. She tells me all the right things. I’ll find a routine in Vegas, too. It will just take time. This is good for the long-term, as I can save money, and then when I’m a free agent, I can play wherever without worrying about the payday. It’s short term. It will be okay.
I wish I had her confidence. But do I want to live my life just waiting for it to beokay?
Mom: Have you been playing your guitar?
I look over and see it sitting in the corner of my living room.
Cal: No. I haven’t played since I’ve been here. Been busy.
Mom: Hook it up and play, Cal. It’s what you love. It’s what soothes you.
She’s not wrong. That and Emily are what keep me calm on a normal day.
Mom: Why don’t you find a place that has good live music?
I ponder that for a moment. ThisisLas Vegas. Not everyone will know me here, so I could probably head to a bar and see who’s playing.
Cal: Good idea. Thanks, Mom.
Mom: How’s Emily? Busy with her master’s, I bet. When is she coming to see you?
Annnnd there’s the kicker. I can’t tell my mom the truth that I’m pretty certain Emily won’t ever be visiting me.
Cal: You’re right. She’s pretty busy at the moment with her studies, but I’m sure she’ll come out to see me soon.
Mom: There you go. Vegas will feel like home for you in no time. Be patient. I love you.
Cal: Love you too, Mom. Thanks for the chat.
But when we finish our conversation, I sit in silence, knowing two things that I couldn’t tell my mom.
I can’t see Vegas ever feeling like home.
And things are anything but fine with my girlfriend.
4
crush foundation music workshop
