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“Yeah. I don’t know where you learned it, but sign me up for that class.”
“Nah, you have it covered. No class needed,” he said, the heated look returning to his eyes.
I pushed on his chest until he took a step or two back. “Sir, if we’re going to take this hike, let me go shower.” I gave him one more kiss and walked away before he could pull me back in.
While in the shower, I thought about what had just happened in the kitchen. I was still shocked that it was the first time he’d sucked a dick. I didn’t have words for how great it felt. How he looked at my dick before he sucked it. How he rubbed his hand along my torso before he took me into his mouth. How he nearly swallowed me. Everything had been perfect. I tried not to think about the fact I wouldn’t get to feel that closeness with him again after these twelve days. I was going to miss it.
Not just the head. Him. The closeness I felt tohim.I liked spending time with him and hearing about his past and future. While the shit he went through was dark, he didn’t let it touch his heart, which was still so genuine and pure. He was stepping out of his comfort zone, being with another man for the first time, and he was rolling with it. He wasn’t being weird about it. On the contrary, you would have thought he had been in other relationships with men, what with how he was behaving. God, this man was driving me crazy. How was he making me feel all these… things? All these emotions?
I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell him I was in the process of falling for him. We only had twelve more days, and I couldn’t make it awkward. I could go on after he left, knowing he didn’t break me and that me falling for him wasn’t a choice but an unexpected surprise. A surprise I wouldn’t regret. I just hoped this fall wouldn’t hurt.
Lucas was waiting for me on the sectional when I finished my shower. He had our favorite blanket from when we sat at the lake resting on his lap. I raised my eyebrow at him and said, “Oh no, sir. I didn’t sign up to sit out in the woods and commune with nature.”
“Relax.” He laughed and grabbed one of my hands when he approached me. “You trust me, yeah?”
“I do,” I answered with no hesitation. It still surprised me the level of trust I had in him, especially after what Devin did to me. Devin had no place in this moment, so I pushed any thoughts of him away.
“Good. I won’t put you in any danger.” He pecked me on my lips and drew me to the back door.
When we got outside, I thought he would drop my hand. He didn’t. He threaded his fingers in mine and led me to a break in the woods I hadn’t noticed before. Then again, I didn’t spend any time at the back of the house. The path was well-worn as if many feet had traversed it to get to wherever he was leading me. The trees weren’t exactly spaced out, but they didn’t look too close together, making me feel less afraid to be in the woods.
We walked for about five minutes in comfortable silence. It felt good simply being with him, even if we were in the woods, hiking to some unknown location. Up ahead, I saw a clearing and then, after moving past a few long hanging branches, we were in a meadow. It was a beautiful meadow dotted with colorful flowers that weren’t overgrown or too wild. It was like something out of a movie. Lucas heard my sharp intake of breath and looked over at me. “It’s nice, right?”
“It is. I wish I would have known it was here when I first arrived.”
“Our parents used to bring us back here when we came during the summer. We’ve had this cabin for a long time, back before any other cabin was built. We used to enjoy coming out, having lunch, and watching Cassie run around on her little chubby legs when she was younger. No matter how busy they were trying to build their brands, they set aside time for us and spent as much quality time with us and each other as they could.” He pulled me toward the middle of the meadow to a spot that seemed to have been naturally cleared. “We used to sit here when we ate. The grass never grew much in this spot, so my parents always said it was like the meadow wanted us to enjoy her beauty.”
It seemed apt. It was the perfect spot to sit and enjoy being in the elements. I’m not big on nature, but this is one place I would have enjoyed visiting to get to know myself. Lucas spread the blanket on the ground, sat, and reached his hand out to me. I grabbed it, and he pulled me down to him, my back to his chest. We sat this way for several minutes, not saying anything, simply feeling the connection between us grow.
“You want kids?” he asked me. I knew he was thinking about the times he spent with his parents here, so the question didn’t come from nowhere.
“I do. I thought Devin and I…” I paused. Devin didn’t deserve to be a part of any conversation I had with Lucas. “I thought I would have one soon. You?”
“I want kids. I have been working so hard with my career, but I think it’s time for me to slow down. I would like to have a child… biological or adopted. Doesn’t matter. As long as I’m raising him or her with the person I love.”
I hummed in my throat, agreeing with him. Devin and I had talked about moving out of his apartment and getting a house so we could raise some kids. I fell in love with the idea of having a fat, squishy baby who laughed and babbled, woke me up at odd hours, and pooped up their back. Most parents didn’t look forward to that, but I wanted it all. I wanted the good and the bad, the happy and the fed-up, the love and the teenage I-hate-everyone phase. I wanted to be a dad. I wasn’t sure if or when it would happen now, but I wanted it. I became infuriated with Devin all over again for dangling that in front of me and snatching it away when I started planning our future.
“It would be nice to bring any kids I had up here,” he murmured. “Keep the tradition going and bring them here to run around. Watch them play in the flowers. Maybe have a dog.”
I could see it. I could see Lucas out here, running around with his kids, a dog nipping at their heels. He would be great. Protective and loyal. Fair and compassionate. Open-minded and loving. Things that a good dad should be. What I wanted my dad to be. “You’re going to be a great father,” I said to him, turning around to look at him. “I know it.” He offered me a small smile and gave me a light kiss.
“I hope so.” He drew in a deep breath. “I think I’m more afraid of failing as a father than I am of anything else in my life, but I want to be a father.”
“As long as you give them the love they deserve, you won’t fail. You’re a good man. Your kids will see that.”
We sat in the meadow for a few hours until the heat made it uncomfortable and then headed back to the cabin, a new layer added to our connection. As soon as we got inside, I heard my phone ringing. I left it behind, not wanting any distractions. Lucas had his, so I knew, if necessary, we could have gotten in touch with help if we needed it.
I jogged to the kitchen island where I had left it and saw it was Cass. “Hey, my love.”
“Tristan! Oh my God! These chapters are phenomenal! I don’t know what else to say, but oh my God! I’m hooked! Where’s the rest? I’m at work, but I cannot stop reading these chapters!”
Her exuberance made me laugh. I knew she wasn’t gushing because we were friends. She read the first chapter of the romance novel I started and gave me hella critiques, enough to where I scrapped it and started anew. She was genuinely impressed this time. “That’s all I have so far. Since I sent you six chapters, I get the week off, right?”
“Oh no you don’t! You need to sit down and finish this! Six chapters in, and I’m on the edge of my seat. There’s barely any feedback I would give you. Some editing errors, but the storyline is solid, the characters are relatable, and it feels real. It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s believable. Bestie, I think this is it. I think this is your bestseller.”
I could cry. I could really cry. Cass had an eye for what it took to have a great novel. Of the novels she’d edited, she could tell if they would do well, and most of the ones she picked did. So this feedback meant a lot. And it was coming from a place of honesty.
“I appreciate that. I don’t know. After Devin, I didn’t want to write romance anymore. I wasn’t feeling romantic. And this book spoke to me.” I pulled a stool out and sat down. Lucas came into the kitchen, and I mouthed that I was talking to Cass. He handed me a bottle of water and sat beside me. Not to be nosey but more to keep me company. He took his phone out and played some game on full volume, and when I gave him a look, he turned it down, looking sheepish. “But Wyatt spoke to me.”
