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“How could I ever get bored of you?” He tickles my side, and I come up on my knees, looking him in the eyes as I try to get away from his questing fingers. “When you love someone, you don’t get bored. You just find new and better ways to hang out together and keep it exciting.”
Immediately the teasing stops, and I stare at him, trying to decide if he meant what he said. When I look into the dark depths of his gaze, all I see there is the love that he just spoke of. “Are you serious, Mase?”
“So fucking serious.” He holds me by the neck, forcing me to meet him head-on. “I’ve never told anyone besides my parents and son I love them. This is about as serious as you can get.”
“You never told Maggie?” I can’t help but ask; partially not believing what he’s confessing can be true. I mean they had a child together and lived through a lot of things before she left.
“Never told her.” His voice is rough. “I didn’t know what love was when I was with her. I was a young kid who only knew what it meant to get his rocks off. I’m glad I didn’t though, because that means I can save the important words for you, babe. Do you know how hard it is for me to tell you? To let someone in after I’ve had to protect me and my son our whole lives.”
Tears are silently making their way down my face. “Yeah, I know exactly how hard it is, Mason. Please don’t ever change. I’m sorry as hell you were hurt by her, but I’m so glad I’m the one who knows what it’s like to have your love. I’ll never take it for granted.”
“I know,” he whispers, pushing his hands up the nape of my neck, holding me close.
In turn, I push his hair out of his face, run my finger down his nose, and drop a kiss on the tip. “I love you too, big guy.”
“I know,” he whispers again, leaning up to give me a chaste kiss. It’s one of those rare ones that don’t get out of hand between us. It’s exactly what it should be, and nothing more.
And as I lie back down against his chest, I realize with a clarity I’ve never had that this is the absolute happiest I’ve ever been.
CHAPTER 21
MENACE
May
Sitting under the heat of the late-May sun in my backyard, I watch the group of friends that have become family congregate. All of the MTF, and a whole slew of Caleb’s friends have come to celebrate his graduation.
“The sides are all set out,” Rina swoops in to sit next to me. She’s wearing a pair of cut-off shorts and a shirt that readsProperty of the MTF. I have to completely agree with the sentiment. “You and Holden just need to get the grills going.”
I reach over, grabbing her up and sitting her on my lap. She puts her arms around my neck and leans in close. “You okay?”
“Hittin’ me hard today,” I admit as I look over, seeing Caleb sit with a few friends and Jess. “He’s not going to be here much longer.”
She kisses me on the cheek as she crosses her legs. It’s the most comfortable thing in the world for me to put my hands on her thighs and hold her tightly to me. “He’s going to be fine, Mason. You raised a good son, you have nothing to worry about. You’re going to be fine, I’ll be here to make sure of it.”
“I know.” I take a drink of my beer. “I know you’re right, but damn this is almost suffocating in the way it feels.”
“It’s fear, Mase, just fear. You won’t be there to hold his hand any longer, and it’s a scary situation. I feel it whenever I send my seniors off into the world,” I admit. “The end of every year is like a stab in my heart. I only have them for a few short months, but they wiggle their way in, and I care about them deeply. When it’s time to let them go, it’s hard, but I have to believe they have bigger things to accomplish. I have to believe I’ve prepared them for what this world has to offer and that they can make good decisions,” she runs her hands along my arms, soothing me. “I know you’ve raised Caleb to be one of those kids. You don’t have to worry, big guy.”
“Just gonna be weird not having him around, ya know? He used to be scared of the dark,” I tell her quietly. “Especially after I came back from being deployed. He used to get up in the middle of the night, sneak into my room, and I’d wake up the next morning with him curled against my chest, holding his pillow. He did that until he was ten.” I look out over the backyard, not seeing much of what’s going on, as I get stuck in my memories. “At the time, I was so glad he stopped doing it because it’d scare the shit out of me when I woke up and saw him there. Now, I wish he’d done it just a few days longer.”
“I’m sure every parent feels that way, Mase.”
Letting out a deep breath, I tap her hip. “Havoc and I need to start these grills if we’re gonna have time to eat before it gets too late.”
“It’s okay to be emotional, big guy.” She wraps herself around me, after we get up. “It’s actually a turn on.”
“Then you should be dripping, because I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotional in my life.”
She winks up at me, before I bend down to give her a chaste kiss. Turning from her, I whistle at Havoc who’s holding Ransom in his arms. “Let’s get these grills going.”
I watch as he hands the baby over to Leigh, and we get to work.
Karina
“He’s getting so big,” I reach out, running my finger down Ransom’s cheek. He’s in a sling around Leigh’s body as she helps me make drinks for the entire crew that has showed up for Caleb’s party.
“Girl, I know. That’s why I’m wearing him. Whoever thought up these sling things is a freakin’ genius. It leaves my hands and arms free so I can get work done. He’s so heavy now, that it’s hard to do things with him while I’m holding him, so this thing has been a lifesaver.”
