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Furious, I released a pained cry and grabbed his hair, yanking hard. "I said fight me, you piece of shit." Lowering my face to his, I glared into his eyes, wanting him to feel every inch of my fury. "Give me that, at least."
"I will not fight you," he told me, brown eyes locked on mine. "Do what you must."
"Guns aren't my style," I reminded him with a sneer, forcing the tremor from my voice, as I traced the side of his face with the barrel. "Too loud." Dropping my gaze to the piercing in his nipple, I reached down and tugged hard, reveling in the discomfort that flashed in his eyes. "I like knives."
"Open the drawer," he told me in a weary tone, inclining his head to the nightstand. "You'll find what you need in there."
"Why are you being like this?" I hissed, voice cracking with both temper and emotion. "Youknowyou can beat me. YouknowI can't win. Why won't you just becruel?"
"Never again," he vowed quietly. "So, do what you must,mi reina."
"Fuck you!" I cried, throwing the gun at the wall opposite us.
Scrambling off his lap, I scurried to the far corner of his bed and watched, incensed with heartbreak, as he rolled onto his side once more.
"Ihateyou, Trigger Laperro."
Clutching his pillow to my chest with a death grip, I nuzzled my cheek against the achingly soft fabric and released a choked sob, too full of pain to hold it in.
He stiffened at the sound, muscles bunching together.
I sniffled again, hiccuping another sob, and Trigger groaned into his pillow. "Stop crying."
"I c-can't."
"Try."
"F-fuck you," I hissed, lashing out at him with my foot and connecting with his taut ass.
He didn’t budge.
Digging my heel into his butt cheek, I hissed, "You h-hurt me." Sniffling, I pushed on his back with all my might but I only ended up moving myself closer to the edge of the bed. "You m-make me s-sick."
"Then what do you want me to do?" His voice was low and gruff, his words torn from deep in his chest. "How do I fix this?"
"Go back in time andbelieveme, Trigger," I hissed, spitting my venom tinged outrage at him. "That's how you fix this!"
"I can't,corderito," he groaned. "I fuckingcan't, okay? I wish I could,mas que la vida, but I cannot roll back the clock."
"Then you can't fix this," I whispered, numb, soaking his pillowcase with my pain. Retracting my foot, I curled up in a ball. "It's too late."
"A la mierda con esto!" Exhaling a frustrated growl, Trig rolled onto his back and glared up at the ceiling. "Joder mi vida!" He rubbed his face with both hands and slammed one fist down on the mattress beside him. "I should not stay here." I stiffened, panic-stricken at his words. "With you." He released another heavy sigh, shoulders slumping. "I will leave."
"Wh-what?" I gaped at him. "Leave?"
"Sí." Dropping his hands to rest on his bare stomach, he tilted his face to look at me. "I will make arrangements for you – to keep you safe." He swallowed deeply, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "You're under my protection now, so you cannot be harmed –"
"You are un-fucking-believable!" I cried, trembling. "You do all of that – flex your muscles in front of your father and The Order and mark your territory like a dog – and forwhat, Trigger? To walkaway? To leave me here with your crazy father while you hunt your demons down? You can't run from them, Trigger, and you can't chase them down, either, because they already inside of you! You can't run from me, either. You can't hide fromthis."
"I am sorry for what I did to you,corderito. It was shameful and unforgivable of me. I am not running from my responsibilities," he growled. "But do not speak ofmydemons."
"She's dead!" I screamed brokenly, losing my ever-loving mind by bringing up the one person I knew could draw the devil out of him. "She's gone, Trigger. You're not avenging her honor anymore. You're just chasing ghosts!"
"And whose fault is that?" he roared back at me, shaking with barely restrained violence.
Pain.
It was everywhere.
