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Seriously, I gave more respect to Sean, and I wiped his ass on the daily.
“You know how you get aggressive after drinking,” Ricey continued to put her down by saying. Acting like he owned the air around him, he opened the fridge and retrieved what had to be his seventh can of lager, leaving his girlfriend empty handed. “And I can’t stand it when you get sloppy.”
Leaning against the back door, I watched as Molloy’s cheeks flushed bright pink, but instead of giving him a piece of her mind like she normally would, she just brushed it off.
She just let it go.
She let him speak to her like he was her keeper.
It didn’t settle well with me.
Fuck it, though, I wasn’t getting involved in anymore of her drama. Last time I tried to defend her, I lost the head so badly that I almost killed her brother.
You spoke to her like shit, too, asshole,my mind reminded me, and I flinched at the horrible fucking mess of things I had made with her before Christmas.
My inability to produce a competent fucking sentence to explain to Molloy how very wrong I was for her, had resulted in me spewing poison and making her cry.
Tearing my eyes off her, I took a deep drag from my joint and held it in my lungs for the longest time, reveling in the burn, in the dizziness, in the momentary release it gave me.
It wasn’t enough, though.
It never was.
The little baggie of benzos in the ass pocket of my jeans were proof to that. Mixed in with vodka and vicodin, and I was getting somewhere.
I could forgethervoice for a while.
I could forget everything
Staring out the back door into the darkness, I found my mind wandering back to the earlier conversation I had with my mother.
“How could they be so cruel?”Mam demanded, holding her head in her hands, as she stared down at Shannon’s torn, blood-encrusted jumper strewn on top of the kitchen table. “I just don’t understand this, Joey.”
“Neither do I,” I agreed, feeling at a complete fucking loss as to what to do for my sister.
We were on Christmas break from school, and somehow, the bullies from school had managed to follow her home from a walk.
A bloody nose and a torn jumper had been the result.
Since she started second year, the bullying had ramped up to epic proportions. I tried to sort it, I fucking tried to nip it in the bud, but it was like I was fighting against the tide. The more scores I settled; the faster they seemed to keep rising up against me.
It was fucking exhausting, and I was running on empty.
“I thought you said you would look out for her this year,” Mam sobbed then, and I couldn’t miss the accusation in her tone. “She looks up to you so much, Joey.”
“No, no, no, don’t even think about putting this on me,” I warned, holding up a hand. “I didn’t do this to her. And I looked after her last year, too, Mam. I did everything I could for the girl.”
“I know you did,” Mam strangled out. “But couldn’t you have done something to stop it today?”
“Likewhat?” I demanded, throwing my hands up. “I can’t watch her twenty-four-seven, Mam. I have class, and training, and work and—“
“Something,” Mam cried. “Anything.”
“What do you want me to do, Mam? Go around beating the shit out of her bullies? Because I can’t, Mam. They’regirls. I’m out of my fucking depth with this as much as she is.” Running a hand through my hair, I expelled a harsh breath. “I can’t keep fighting all of Shannon’s battles for her, and I can’t keep fighting all of yours, either.”
“Steal any more cars lately?”Molloy’s familiar voice infiltrated my thoughts, dragging me back to the present, and fuck if my heart didn’t take a U-turn in my chest when she sidled up beside me and nudged my arm with her shoulder. “Nice hoodie.”
“Nah, just the one,” I shot back, returning her nudge. “And nice legs.”
