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“You’re really here.” He cracked a lid open and peered up at me. “Thought I dreamt you up.” And then he looked at me, completely spaced out of his mind, with lipstick smeared across his mouth and cheek. “Hey.”
“Hey.” My stomach bottomed out at the sight. “You shouldn’t give yourself away to the likes of her,” I whispered, giving him back the words he’d spoken to me a long time ago.
A flash of recognition filled his eyes, causing his nostrils to flare. “Molloy.”
“It hurts,” I admitted softly, reaching down to rub the lipstick off him. “This hurts me.”
“I would never hurt you, Molloy,” he slurred, his words a lot like his life, a broken mess. “I’d rather die than hurt you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth.” Releasing a pained groaned, he croaked out, “Only thing I’ve ever done right in my life is leave you alone.”
My eyes filled with tears, and I quickly blinked them away, but not before one lone tear dripped from my cheek and landed on his bare chest.
“You’re crying.” A bleary sort of anxiety filled his features as he slowly pulled himself up on his elbows. “Why? What did I do?”
“I’m grand.” Shaking my head, I tucked my hair behind my ear, feeling his hot breath on my cheek. “I’m okay.”
He looked around us then, his eyes raking in the unfamiliar bedroom, as confusion swept over him. “Did I?” His gaze settled back on mine, wild and panicked, as he sat straight up. “Did we?”
“No.” Shaking my head, I forced out the bitter truth, “Not us.”
“Fuck.” His body visibly sagged. “Molloy.”
“Don’t stay here.” My breath hitched in my throat, and I dropped my gaze to the mattress, to where the smell of sex was still in the air. “In this bed.” I exhaled a ragged breath, hating the plea as it came stumbling out of my mouth, “With her.”
Joey tipped my chin up and forced me to look at him, as he stared so hard the green orbs of his iris’s darkened to coal.
“Okay,” he finally said, thumb stroking over the curve of my bottom lip, as I leaned my cheek into his big hand. “I won’t.”
* * *
A little while later,I was walking the familiar trek back to my house.
With his hood pulled up, and his hands shoved into the front of his hoodie, Joey looked exactly like he always did when he walked me home.
A little pissed off, and a lot sexy.
I didn’t have the energy to joke around with him tonight, though, or even speak.
So instead, we walked in silence with a cloud of bitterness hanging over our heads.
“Thanks,” I said when we reached my gate. “For walking me home, and, um, well, you know.”
“It’s grand.” He kept his hands in his pockets, as he watched me close the garden gate behind me. “I’ll see you at school next week.”
“Yeah.” Nodding, I lingered in front of the gate, watching him watch me. “I suppose you will.”
He nodded stiffly, but made no move to leave, and neither did I.
“I thought I hurt you tonight,” he finally said, breaking the heavy silence between us. “When I woke up and saw you there? I thought I did something we couldn’t take back. I was so fucking relieved when you told me that we didn’t.” Exhaling a heavy sigh, he added, “But the way you’re looking at me right now makes me wish we had.” He shook his head and turned to walk away. “At least if we had, then I could understand the disappointed look in your eyes.”
“Joe.” I sucked in a sharp breath as he started to walk away. “Joey, wait I—”
“I’ll be seeing ya, Molloy,” he called over his shoulder.
And then he was gone.
