AllFreeNovel
Share Us
That was for damn sure.
And I was far frombetter,but I was still trying, still hanging in there, and I was still clean.
The worst of the DTs had passed, but I knew that I was balancing on thin ice, which meant that going out tonight was a risk that I couldn’t afford to take.
I hadn’t put myself through hell this past week to throw it all away, because that’s exactly what Iwoulddo.
Unlike my father, alcohol had never been my issue, but itwasthe sneaky fucking sidekick to my main nemesis.
Because with all of the freedom that alcohol provided me, it stripped me of all logic and awareness. It rendered me reckless, before sending me plummeting headfirst down the path of no return.
Because when I got drunk, I got sloppy, and when I got sloppy, I got high.
It had been that way since I wasn’t much older than Tadhg was. Hell, maybe even Ollie.
For close to half my life, I had danced with the devil, playing with fire, and it had finally caught up with me.
Worse than catching up with me, it had overtaken me.
The line I had crossed wasn’t one many came back from.
Molloy’s heartbroken face was still as fresh in my mind now as it had been the week before. It was the driving force behind my decision to park my ass on this couch and stay out of trouble for the night.
I couldn’t fuck up again.
I couldn’t afford to.
I knew in my heart that if I let myself slip back down that hole, there would be no coming back out.
“You know,” Shannon mused, dragging me back to the present, as she polished off her chocolate bar. “I can’t remember the last New Year’s Eve we spent together.”
I could.
“I was in sixth class; you were in third,” I reminded her, remembering the night like it was yesterday. “Darren was in sixth year and had just come out to Mam over the Christmas, and the old man had hit the roof.”
“Oh, yeah.” The light in her eyes dimmed. “I remember.”
“He broke up the house, disowned Darren, broke Mam’s arm for defending Darren, then broke my nose for defending Mam, before packing a bag and fucking off for a month.”
“Yeah,” she whispered, chewing on her lip. “That was the last Christmas that Darren spent with us.”
“Yeah,” I acknowledged quietly. “And that was the last time I spent New Year’s Eve at home.”
It was the last time I’d spent it sober, too.
“He left the following autumn,” she added, clearly thinking back to a time in our lives when it wasn’t so complicated. “Once he had his leaving cert results.”
“Which were all higher level As because, let’s face it, he was a fair bit of a genius,” I begrudgingly admitted. “Clever fucker’s probably in an office somewhere, sitting behind a big-ass desk, with a fancy computer in front of him, and making a fortune with that big brain of his.”
“I hope so,” Shannon replied wistfully. “I really do hope he’s okay, Joe.”
“He’s grand,” I bit out, feeling my mood sour. “He got out, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Anxiety filled her eyes. “Do you hate him?”
I nodded stiffly.
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
