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“What are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He narrowed his eyes in disgust. “WhoI’m talking about.”
I released a heavy breath. “This isn’t about Joey.”
“It’s always about him, Aoife,” he practically roared, losing his cool with me. “It will always come back to him because you are all about him. Don’t bother denying it. It’s written all over your face.”
“He’s myfriend,Paul.”
“Bullshit.”
“I’m not fighting with you about this,” I growled. “I have a friendship with Joey, and I’m not giving that up for anyone.”
“You mean you’re not givinghimup,” he corrected and then choked out a humorless laugh. “Jesus Christ, how blind can you get? The asshole doesn’t want you. When are you going to get it through your thick skull? He doesn’t give two shits about you, and it’s fucking pathetic to see you fall over him like this.”
“Paul!”
“Look!” he demanded then, physically turning me around so that I had a perfect view of the side of the pavilion. “Look at him,” Paul ordered, catching ahold of my chin and forcing me to watch as Danielle Long pinned Joey against the wall of the pavilion and thrust her tongue inside his mouth. And even though his hands hung limply at his sides, he rocked his hips and kissed her back.
Oh yeah, he was definitely into it.
Into her.
My breath hitched in my throat, and it took everything I had inside of me to stand my ground andnotbreak down.
“Look,” Paul reiterated, forcing me to take it all in. “That’s how much he’s thinking about you, Aoife. He doesn’t give a damn.”
I’LL STAY WITH YOU
OCTOBER 31ST 2001
JOEY
“You can be such a…fuckup, Joey,” Mam screamed, heaving in pain, as she gripped the side rail of the bed and released a high-pitched, feral scream. “You’re…just…like…him…sometimes.”
“I said I was sorry,” I strangled out, as the high I’d been floating on quickly gave way to a severe case of the shakes. “Stop looking at me like that.”
Reality was crashing down around me in huge tsunami-sized waves, as I continued to plummet back down to earth.
Still, I was here, wasn’t I?
I was the one holding her hand.
Where the fuck was he?
"Okay, Marie, on the next contraction, I want you to give me a big push," the midwife instructed. She pushed me out of her way, as she settled between my mother’s legs with an array of medical supplies and instruments that my mind could not comprehend. "You're nearly there, pet. I can see the head. Another big push and you’ll be crowning."
“Just, ah…" Feeling woozy, I backed away from my mother’s hospital bed, needing to do something, needing to be just about anywhere other thanthere. "I'll be back…"
"No – Joey, don’t go!" Mam cried out, catching ahold of my hand with a death grip. "Please don’t leave me on my own."
"Mam, I don’t…" Shaking my head to clear to my vision, I felt her squeeze my hand. I tried to make sense of my surroundings while attempting not to puke. "I'm just, ah –" Blinking rapidly, I wiped my brow with my sleeve and forced myself to concentrate on her face. “Please don’t make me do this.”
“I need you,” she cried out, trembling. “I don’t have anyone else.”
Through the haze of withdrawal, I could see the terror in her blue eyes, and it was sobering.
“Please… I’m scared.”
