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I wanted the baby, but what if he didn’t? What if he saw it as an albatross around his neck? He didn’t like being tied down or stuck in one place.
By the time I pulled up to his house, I was filled with anxiety. I couldn’t seem to calm myself. Before I could knock on the door, Nick opened it.
“Come in.”
“Thanks.” My lips felt frozen.
I walked inside with my arms wrapped around my middle. We sat on the couch in the living room. I’d never been in that room. It was more formal than the family room.
“You want to talk.”
“I have news. It came as a surprise to me. You have to know; I didn’t think it was possible. After everything Seth and I went through, I never thought—” I broke off, wondering why I’d brought up Seth.
“What’s going on?” Nick asked, his brow furrowed.
There was no point in tiptoeing around the truth. I’d just tell him and get it over with. “I’m pregnant.”
His eyes widened. “Wow. That one time.”
“I didn’t think it was a possibility. I mean, it was so hard before.”
“I get that.”
“But I want this baby. Hunter will be excited to be a big brother. He’s been asking me for a sibling. It’s okay if it’s not what you wanted. We never discussed it. I’m not asking you for anything.”
Nick cleared his throat. “Maybe you should.”
“What?”
“Maybe you should ask for what you want and need.”
I shook my head slowly. “I don’t know how to respond to that. I just wanted to tell you what was going on and give you time to process things.”
I stood and edged toward the door, ready to make my escape. I’d carefully numbed myself to his reaction, not wanting to feel anything. I’d been careful not to look at his face, not wanting to see his panic, his disappointment, or whatever else I might find there.
“Abby.”
“Yeah?” I reluctantly turned to face him.
“What do you want?”
“I want this baby.” I knew that without a doubt, but I wasn’t sure what he was getting at.
“How involved do you want me to be?”
It felt like a test. One I would surely fail with my history. “However you want to be.”
“Are you sure? You don’t want me to be the dad you’ve always wanted for your kids?”
“I mean, that sounds great in theory.” But I’d experienced reality.
He stood in front of me, his gaze searching my face for something. “What do you need from me?”
“I don’t know about need, but I hope you’re okay with it, and you’re happy.”
“If everything was perfect, how do you imagine a pregnancy going with me as the father?”
My eyes drifted shut as he fingers came to my shoulders. His hands grounded me.
