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Better to cut ties, crush the hope, and move on.
Now finally, weeks later…he’d stopped showing up in the parking lot, stopped forcing me to put my sneaky skills to work.
That hurt.
I couldn’t lie.
But it wasn’t unexpected…and it was what I’d wanted.
Right?
I inhaled. Exhaled. “Right,” I whispered.
Now I got to focus on Thelma, on my town, on what was needed.
Not on the man who could fuck me, could make all my fantasies come to fruition while also breaking my heart.
“Enough,” I whispered, deliberately putting Joel from my mind as I sank into a bit of mischief making. I pressed Thelma’s doorbell and then dashed down off the porch, along the grass, dodging the sensor for the automatic flood light (see? I reallydidknow all) that was mounted near Thelma’s garage. Triggered, it would illuminate the entire front yard and blow my cover.
But I was well-practiced in the art of ding dong ditch.
Or had been as a twelve-year-old, anyway.
Though, I supposed those skills never really left a woman.
Case in point?
Moments later, I was safely behind a tree, watching Thelma—now with the door open—look around, sigh, and eventually bring the basket inside.
Mission accomplished.
Mentally, I high-fived myself, then walked down the quiet sidewalk, heading back to my car. I’d parked it around the corner to help with my sneakiness, but I didn’t mind the trek. Not when the night sky was clear, and the air was cool on my cheeks, and I was taking care of my people.
My town was slowly putting itself back together.
But it would never be exactly what it had been before.
I was finally at the point where that was okay.
Change was good—ha.
I could barelythinkthat, let alone internalize it.
Personally, I needed to be in control. I needed things (and people) to stay in place in the carefully thought-out buckets I’d created. Change—like fucking a certain sexy hockey player—could derail that.
Especially when I wasn’t the driving force of said change.
Especiallywhen I couldn’t control all…and with Joel, I was nowhere near being in charge.
Something my friends and family would be shocked to hear.
But it was something I knew.
I might be pushy and confident and demanding and know what I wanted, but I knew myself, too. I knew my limits, knew that I had to give in onsomethings.
Joel made me give.
“Dangerous,” I whispered on a sigh, turning the corner, forcing myself to enjoy that cool, clean night air. My tennis shoes were soundless on the sidewalk and I was mentally going through my checklist. I needed to stop by the construction site that was City Hall before heading back to the trailer. Then I had a boatload of work to finish up. My inbox was full. My spreadsheets needed to be reviewed. My planner needed to be set up for the next day. And…even though it was late still fall, the winter festival needed to be planned.
