Page 86 of Q is for…


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“Right now, what I feel is pissed.”

Oh.

Nomi slanted her gaze to the side.His jaw was clenched, but his eyes were hot with…anger.Wait, was that desire?Need?

“Um, why are you angry?”

“I’m angry, because you should have told me all this.”

“I don’t owe my Dom my private thoughts—”

“I’m not talking about some other Dom.Or what other people should do.Youshould have toldme.”

“The same way you told me what you were thinking?”

“I was trying to be responsible!”

“And I’m trying not to make a fool of myself and get my heart broken!”

“I’m not going to break your heart.”

“Yes, you are, because if I scene with you again these feelings I’m trying to pretend I don’t have will become permanent.And that’s not fair to the fourth date guy.”

Tareq blinked.“Who?”

“I was visualizing in the shower.What would it look like if I got what I wanted.”

“And what’s that?What do you want?”

Nomi stared resolutely out the window.“It was just an exercise, a fantasy, not—”

“Nomi.”

“A collar,” she all but snarled.“Another pathetic cliche, one night together and the sub is dreaming of being collared.”She swallowed hard, but didn’t stop talking long enough for him to jump in.“I was imagining what would happen if I…”wore your collar“…if we had something more permanent.I made up this guy I met at a bar.I see you here on the weekends, and it’s just like last night was, sexy and intense but also we talk and laugh.

“On the fourth date I take the guy from the bar back to my place, because hey, social convention says it’s a good time to get physical.I take him home and…nothing.I can’t sleep with him.”

“You’re damn right you can’t.”

He sounded so possessive that Nomi’s heart leapt, shouting “Yes!See?”as her brain told her heart to shut the hell up.

“Not just because that’s a shitty thing to do,” Nomi went on.“Since in this scenario I’m also having regular sex with you, but because I wouldn’t want to.Do you see the problem?”

She turned to face him, though she didn’t let go of the wheel and it took all her courage to do it.“Why did I even go on the date, except maybe to get out of the house and take a break from cooking?Why would I need to bother dating when I’m getting submission, emotional intimacy, and companionship here with you.That’s what would happen if you and I had…anything.”

Nomi's hands had started to actually hurt, so she forced herself to let go of the wheel.The moment she did she started to emotionally deflate, as if the steering wheel were a life preserver and now that she’d let go, she could just sink quietly under the waves.

“And I want you to know that I’m fully aware how ridiculous that was to even say out loud given that at the time I was imagining this I also thought you were rushing to get our scene over with, and that even now, when you’ve made it clear you’re not opposed to sceneing again, that doesn’t mean you thinking of me as—”

“Girlfriend material?”

She winced.Silence settled in her car, which felt small with him in the passenger seat.

“I could tell you how I decided last night that you would wear my collar,” Tareq said slowly.“I could tell you that right now it’s taking everything not to bend you over the hood of your own car and paddle your ass so hard you never again neglect to tell me what you’re feeling.”

Nomi hated herself for feeling hope as she looked over at him.“You wanted to collar me?”

“Right now, I want to beat your ass black and blue, so don’t look at me with those big pretty eyes thinking that will get you out of it.”

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