Page 80 of Cruel Promise


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I find that hard to believe, but these guys know way more about this sort of thing than I do.

Seeing the three of them in my room, in their dark bespoke suits, simply giving me the lay of the land, seems so strangely normal. Like I’m being briefed at a new job or something. They point out this and that as if they really want me to feel at home.

I have no idea why. It’s not like I’m going to become a return customer.

I wonder if Niko will sleep with me again. I have no idea what his brothers thought of our doing that, but they couldn’t have been too happy about it, based on the limited conversation I overheard afterwards.

Don’t get attached.

You’re too soft, Niko.

Don’t think with your little head. It’ll only get you into trouble.

Niko, with his tousled blond hair and mixed-up parentage. At times it’s unfathomable that he is part of the criminal underworld. He is sweet and kind. And makes me feel secure. The night he spent with me was a dream. I woke up in the middle of it just to take in his masculine beauty, see his chest rise and fall, and listen to him breathe. When I wove my fingers through his, just to see how it felt, his hand clasped mine right back. He didn’t even wake up.

Kir has his dangerous edge, one that occasionally reminds me to watch what I say. I wouldn’t want to be on his bad side. Ever. Has he always been like that? Or did the death of his beloved Clara turn him into something temperamental and cold? The first time I encountered Dimitri, Kir’s sheer force in escorting him out of the club was frightening. I thought for sure he was going to kill the man. Of course, knowing what I now do, I wish he had killed him.

Yes, I am wishing someone dead. That’s something I never would have done two weeks ago. I also wouldn’t have given a relative stranger a blow job two weeks ago, nor pranced around in high heels and a short skirt with my behind hanging out.

No, I’d be bumming around in my ripped jeans, Converse Chucks, and meeting up with Luci to study and plan our bookkeeping careers. We even talked about, once we got our certificates, getting an apartment together in Chicago. We figured there are lots of bookkeeping jobs in a big city like that.

Last, there’s Vadik, the big brother, who’s hard to read with his hot-cold personality. I’m never sure where I stand with him. Regardless, every time I see a little past his hard, outer veneer, which seldom happens, my stomach flips and my heart races. He’s gorgeous in a tough-guy sort of way with his shaved head and scowling eyebrows. If I ran into him in a parking garage, I’d probably head the other way. He hasthatkind of power. It’s the only way I can think to put it. I mean, when he looks at me, I could swear he sees through me. Like he knows my thoughts.

And desires.

Then there’s the way they touch me. Each one sends me spinning, flying into some sort of sexy, alternate universe. Don’t they feel it too? How we connect through sexual pleasure? I don’t get how the hell they are so willing to just toss me to the highest bidder, like I’m nothing. Nothing to them, nothing to anyone.

Are they that coldhearted?

The bastards.

All for my virginity. Once that’s gone, will I be cast aside like some sort of trash? And why, in these men’s eyes, is that the most valuable thing about me?

It’s as if I—or any woman, for that matter—am nothing more than a vagina. Nothing more than my ability to provide a man with a way to pleasure himself.

How is it they think like that? Where did they learn that?

On top of everything, and perhaps worst of all, I’m madly attracted to them. I hate it. I hate that I’m weak, and I hate myself fornothating them, the very people taking away everything that’s ever been important to me.

It’s crazy and makes no sense, but Icravetheir touch. I think about it night and day. When I share a meal with them, I can barely swallow. When they’re in close proximity to my bedroom, I can’t sleep. When they speak to me, I don’t follow the words they’re saying.

The contradictions make my head spin.

I’d do anything right now to just dive into one of my bookkeeping textbooks. They are my safe place. That’s what I love about the subject. It’s orderly. A place for everything. Predictable. There are rules, and everybody follows them.

I am comfortable in that world. When I am immersed, I feel like I’m wrapping a warm blanket around myself. Like I’ve found a place where I belong. And found something I am good at.

Those days are over now, unless I can change the path I’m on.

Which will take a freaking miracle.

* * *

CHAPTERSIXTY-FIVE

Charleigh

The next couple days pass uneventfully. The staff has started talking to me a little and the housekeeper even let me help in the kitchen. If they are curious about my status—where I’ve come from and how long I’m staying—they don’t mention it.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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