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It’s almost like they’ve seen women come and go from the place before.
Of course they have. I’m just another number.
The thought is like a grinding pit in my stomach.I am one of how many?
Have they seen women like me so many times they don’t care anymore? Have they lost some of their humanity, like me? Or are they totally devoid of it by this point, like the Alekseev brothers and the members of their club?
While each of the guys has his own place on the property, they meet and conduct business here in the big house, where my room is tucked away upstairs and at the end of a long hall.
And this morning, as I was getting ready to walk to their parents’ memorial garden, I hear them meeting with their door open, something I’ve never seen them do.
When my name is spoken, I slow down.
“How many bidders will we have tomorrow night?” Vadik asks.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow, my life will essentially be over. I choke back a sob. I am so tired of crying.
Papers shuffle. “I’m going through the RSVP list right now. According to Dominika… it looks like fifty or so,” Niko answers.
There’s a long, low whistle, and Kir speaks up. “Damn. We’ve never had a turnout like that.”
The auction is on. Coming like a freight train.
I feel like someone is sitting on my chest. I sink to the floor outside the guys’ office, no longer able to stand. I’m actually grateful I’m having trouble breathing. Maybe things will end for me, saving me a lot of trouble.
Of course, then my dad’s debts wouldn’t be paid. But I wouldn’t be around for that to be my problem anymore.
Crushed. That’s what I am. Completely and totally crushed. I suppose on some level I thought I might get a free pass. That I’d dazzled the guys so much they couldn’t bear to part with me. That I’d be the one they set free—whatever free looks like in their world.
But no. I’m still just a walking, talking bank deposit. I’m their ticket to financial stability. Nothing more.
Jesus, I’m an idiot.
What the hell did I expect?
A person is not forced to sign a contract and taken to a criminals’ club by nice people.
I struggle to my feet and rush out the front door before they find me eavesdropping. As always, the guards are patrolling, so taking off is not an option.
Today is no different from any other day.
So, I head over to the engraved bench in their parents’ garden.
Mama and Papa, it says.
These guys know loss. They know pain. And yet they can’t empathize with me? I settle into the place where I’ve spent the last couple days reading books out of the guys’ library, but this time I just bury my face in my hands.
To lose all hope is like having your breath stolen. It is the lowest, darkest place a person can be. It’s lonely and sad and full of sorrow. So many sorrows.
That’s where I am right now.
* * *
CHAPTERSIXTY-SIX
Vadik
It will be one happy fucking day when I can stop thinking about the club all the time. Seriously. We guys have other businesses to attend to that are far more profitable than this vanity project we are keeping on life support out loyalty to our father. Running it is an endless, thankless task, even if we have Dominika to manage the day-to-day.
