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My father.
“DJ.” His eyes look me up and down, lingering on my bare feet and messy hair. “Good to see you.”
My throat tightens. I open my mouth to speak but shut it almost immediately, had I always felt thisafraidof him?
“Dad.” I finally utter, my hand gripping the door, not sure if I should slam it shut or not. How did he find out where I’m living? Does he know about me and Brooks?
Dad raises his eyebrow expectantly. “Are you going to invite me inside, or do we have to have this conversation in the cold?”
A dark voice comes from behind me. “You won’t be having any conversation with Delta. Not until she’s ready.” Brooks stops at my side, looking more furious than I’ve ever seen him. “Leave my property. Immediately.”
Turning his eyes to Brooks, Dad’s lip curls. “You know, I didn’t think you had it in you,Doctor. My mistake.” He looks back at me, expression softening and voice becoming gentle and persuasive. “Let’s sit down and have a conversation, DJ.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “If I talk to you, will you promise to not come back here without my permission?”
Something in Dad’s expression flickers and with a sudden rush of pride I realize what it is. Surprise. I’ve never spoken to him like this before. Ever.
“DJ-” He clears his throat and shakes his head, as if clearing it of whatever he was going to say. When he speaks again, his tone is perfectly composed. “You have my word.”
Wordlessly, I step back to let him inside, Brooks’ hand squeezing my shoulder in a silent show of support. He takes my hand, leading the way over to the kitchen table where we sit down on one side, a unified force against my father who takes the chair across from us.
Leaning back in his seat, Dad stares at me for a long moment. When it becomes clear I’m not going to lead this conversation or apologize for anything, he clears this throat.
“I want to apologize.” I blink in surprise, gripping Brooks’ hand tighter beneath the table. Dad rubs his beard, frowning. “Things got out of hand. In the run up to the qualifiers. I’ve only ever wanted the best for you, DJ. I’ve seen too many incredible athletes live with regret because the pulled back when they should have pushed through.”
My mouth is dry by the time he stops speaking, my heart hammering against my ribcage so much louder than usual.Thisis his apology?Thisis what he’s sorry for?
“You never asked, Dad.” I tell him, my voice strained. “This was the end of the road, but there were so many other times I got hurt. So many other times I sacrificed having a normal life to snowboard. You never once stopped and had a conversation with me about whatIwanted.”
Dad’s nostrils flair. “You are an Olympic gold medalist. Do you know how many people can say that? I refuse to apologize for helping you realize your true potential, DJ. Did I sometimespush too hard? Yes. I acknowledge that, and I’m sorry for it. You’re my daughter. I love you. If you’re truly done with snowboarding, I can accept that-“
But I interrupt him with a cold, sharp laugh. “You can accept that?”I spit the words back at him in disbelief. “It’s not your life! It’s not your body! I don’t need you to accept it, I need you tosupportit!”
Across from me, Dad’s shoulders sag. “I’m trying here, DJ.”
He is trying, I can see that, but it’s not good enough. He still doesn’t get it. “I know you are.” My eyes burn. “I’m not saying I’m out, and I never want a relationship with you again, but your actions did damage. Physical and emotional damage thatIhave to repair.” Brooks laces his fingers through mine and my heart swells. I won’t be alone.
Dad nods slowly, like he’s trying to wrap his mind around the fact that sometimes the ends do not justify the means. “I understand.” Reaching into his jacket, he pulls out a slim, flat box and pushes it across the table to me. “This was in the safe when your brother got your things. I… thought you’d want it.”
My hands tremble as I pull back the lid and stare down at the gold medallion nestled in velvet. Beside me, I feel Brooks still.
I’d been deliberately not thinking about my medal. There are two more bronze ones just like it, stored in a box upstairs, but nobody ever remembers those.
I laugh slightly as I pick it up, turning it over in my fingers. “I don’t know what to do with it.”
Brooks laughs too and gets up from the table. On the far wall, his college and med school diplomas are hung, beside a shadow case filled with a few intimidating looking medical instruments. Dad and I watch as he plucks it right off the wall and dumps the tools onto the table with a clatter.
I hand him the metal mutely and his large hands arrange it carefully over the metal pins inside the box before he shuts it and takes it back to the wall.
All three of us stare for a minute.
Dad clears his throat and when he speaks, his voice is thick with emotion. “It looks good there.”
Chapter Nine
Delta
Despite his constant assurances that he trusts Dr. Walters completely, Brooks still hovers at the side of the exam table, supervising my entire exam and reviewing my brand-new scans.
