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It’s now become a part of her. She probably believes each one of those plants is her in some way, and if she has the form of OCD that includes rituals—God, my poor little one. In her head, she could possibly be telling herself that if she doesn’t rescue the plants, something bad will happen to her. Add in the intrusive thoughts on repeat, and no wonder her sleep schedule has been fucked to hell and back. She can’t sleep at night, because that’s when she can dumpster dive. If she doesn’t dumpster dive, something bad will happen to her. This makes her so tired that she has to sleep most of the day, which leaves no time for anything else.

No time to work.

No time to eat or work out.

No time nor energy to even worry about hygiene and self-care.

So it’s a secret she wants to keep from me, and that’s perfectly fine. Because as long as it’s a secret, she gets to show me the real her that’s not fixated on her obsession. She gets to pretend it doesn’t exist and finds other things to focus on and talk about with me. Which is therapeutic for her as well, since she’s not fixating on it. I’ve interrupted that loop, which she desperately needed.

So although I feel a tinge of discomfort for not correcting her when she says anything about us meeting in person “for the first time,” I feel it would hurt her more if I revealed the truth at this stage, when she’s gaining so much more by not knowing.

The rest of our conversation this morning takes place between my sets on the different chest and triceps machines, giving me a reason to power through every rep so I can read her reply that never fails to come.

RomanticSadistLL:

Stage 5 isn’t even close to the level I WANT you to be, little one.

Not expecting your address, so let's go with… how far from the gym do you live? In minutes.

And the app says your 3 miles away right now. Where are you?

WillDive4Plants:

LOL seeing as you have my real name and links from my TikToks I sent you, where you can clearly see everywhere I go around town, I think it's safe to say you could easily find me if you really wanted to. I live in the neighborhood by the lake. It’s the only lake around here, so you know where, I’m sure.

It takes me nine minutes to get to the gym, since they opened that sweet little shortcut

RomanticSadistLL:

I'm in the neighborhood off that “sweet little shortcut.” So not far at all. Accurate enough, to answer your question.

I'm at the gym right now though.

WillDive4Plants:

Just got here!

RomanticSadistLL:

Friendly face-to-face? I'll behave.

WillDive4Plants:

I'm so glad you said that. I was trying to get up the courage to ask. ??

I have some questions for my book, and I can't find anything but stupid fuck-boys in my search for someone to interview. You're literally the only person that doesn't give me the ick ??

RomanticSadistLL:

Courage to ask me to behave?

Told you, has to be consensual unless CNC is agreed upon, then different rules. No matter what we state our kinks are, people are people and deserve respect. Unless we RESPECTFULLY change the rules based on agreement.

I mean, I still want you, will continue to ask you, might even test the waters and tempt you into changing your mind… but will always respect your boundaries.

Until it's time not to ??

WillDive4Plants:

I

I just meant… the courage to ask you for a friendly meet… where you’d behave ??

But you've been fairly warned how freaking awkward I am. I'm only cool on TikTok. There's a reason I am a reclusive author.

And see? You're literally the only person I've come across on these sites and apps who truly knows and follows the real aspects of BDSM. I bet if I asked any of these other fuckers what the three fundamental principles are, they wouldn’t know what the hell I’m talking about.

I’m in the middle of typing out the story of the guy who brought the sub into my ER when I realize what I’m about to reveal.

It’s the spell she’s put on me. Without even thinking twice about it, I was going to tell her so many things that could identify who I am, and I’m not ready for that. Don’t know if I ever will be, but this is the first time I’ve wanted to in several years.

I delete the message and start over.

RomanticSadistLL:

That's why you should agree to play and be taught to submit. Call it research. No thought, no awkward, no wondering what is wanted or expected, because you will be told, shown, and taught. Your insecurities are called with knowledge that you are doing as I want and desire

WillDive4Plants:

You're straight out of my books.

I'm just saying.

Also, I’ve been a sub for many, many years. But I’ve only had one Dom—my ex-husband. We divorced because I couldn’t be what he needed, and he deserved to be with someone who could. But with that in mind, I really don’t know how to be someone else’s sub, because we never played that way. So thank you for being open to teaching a sorta-newb.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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