Page 83 of Phoenix


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I grabbed the glass of whiskey I’d brought to bed after the second time we’d… fucked, gulping down the rest. The slight burn did nothing to make me feel any better.

Maybe she was giving me space or maybe she was as confused as I was, but she remained quiet, rubbing her thumb back and forth across my stomach.

Just like she’d done when I’d told her about Belle. Her sensitivity and understanding amazed me. How much baggage could this girl handle? Exhaling, the asshole inside of me wanted to pull away, retreating to the same shell I’d lived in for years. I’d been damn good at it too, ignoring the rest of the world.

“I’m sorry, Wren. I’ll take you home in the morning. It’s not because I don’t want you here. It’s because…” Hell. I needed another drink, although I knew an entire bottle wouldn’t settle the rage that surfaced every time I was faced with any difficulty. What had I been thinking, telling her about what happened on the mountain?

“Only if that’s what you need to do, not because of what happened. And that’s only for space for a little while. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

I kissed the top of her head, more surprised than ever she was able to tolerate being this close. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m here if you want to talk about it, but I won’t push you. Whatever you endured in the war lingers in your mind just like what happened with Belle. They’re connected. Maybe not in reality but in your mind, you’ve made them one and the same. Like I said before, until you can find a way to free the demons, you’ll never be at peace.”

“How old are you, twenty-two?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Her rebellious side was still intact, where I hoped it would always be.

“Cause you’re not just too smart for your own good, you’re the only person who’s been able to pick me apart and I don’t like that. I’ve had three professionals try and do so, none of them effective.” I was too old for her. Hell, I was too a lot of things, including unstable. This was such a bad idea. I cared a lot about the woman, which meant I should make it a point of never seeing her again.

I just didn’t think I could allow that to happen.

The darkness hadn’t always been comforting, but lately it had helped enough I thought I’d gotten better. I’d thought the demons couldn’t find me in the shadows of my mind or the stark contrasts of color in the early hours of morning.

But I was wrong, as I’d been about so many other things in my life.

“Age is all relative. It’s all about the experiences in your life,” she said with such confidence that my cock ached all over again.

I lifted my arm, instinctively wanting to stroke her soft skin and tell her that I wasn’t crazy, but I fisted my hand instead. While I sensed she’d realized what I was afraid to do, she nuzzled closer, letting a sigh escape, her hot breath dancing across my skin. It had been a hell of a long time since I’d had a woman in my arms like this. This felt as natural as when she’d been in my kitchen.

God, why couldn’t I be normal?

“Do you remember I told you about my horse?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah. Shitty thing to happen.”

“What I didn’t tell you before was that I ran away after I learned about what my father had done.”

“You did what?”

She laughed softly. “Believe it or not, I thought I could survive on my own so that was it, my decision made. What pushed even more was that after my father got rid of my horse, my mother and I had a vicious argument. That’s when she called me the worst thing that had ever happened in her life.”

Jesus Christ. I should have beaten the crap out of her father. And her mother was a real tool.

“I packed a bag, grabbed the money I’d been saving for a new computer, and crawled out the window. Trust me that my parents never handed me anything.”

Tensing, it was all I could do to remain quiet. “What happened?”

“Nothing for a few days. I stayed with a girlfriend until her parents got back into town. Then I was on my own, trying to use the money sparingly. I even attempted to get a job, but no one would hire me. I ended up hitching a ride halfway to Billings. Then I got picked up by a couple of boys. You know, kids partying. I was into bad boys at the time, rebellious as hell. Wearing black. I’d dyed my hair pink. They were as far removed from what I’d lived as I could get and for a little while, it was pretty good being with them, but one night they got drunk, high, and furious that I refused their advances, so one of them hit me.”

I bristled, immediately pulling her tightly against me. “The motherfuckers.”

“At that point, I knew it was time to get away, but they wouldn’t let me go, calling me their little fuck treat.”

“Please don’t tell me they… violated you.”

“Almost. I was screaming and fighting them, but one of them kept hitting me until I almost passed out. I guess somebody heard my screams and called the police. Then my parents were called. I’d been so scared, so angry with myself. And I couldn’t wait to get back home.”

Exhaling, my gut told me there was a lot more to the story. “What did your father do?”

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