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“I need another one of these,” Andy mentions softly.
“Please. Don’t stop at one more. Go football team size,” Aunt Adriana suggests.
“Mom, you have Luna and Willow to harass. I’ll give you at least one more, but that’s probably it.”
“Such a party pooper.” She pouts. “I’ll just spoil this little one until he finds me annoying and avoids me.”
“Um, speaking of which,” I begin with, clearing my throat because I’m suddenly nervous. “I wanted to ask for your permission, but I understand if you don’t want me to, so no pressure. I’d love to name him Elijah.”
Aunt Adriana stops rocking him, then slowly shifts her gaze onto me with glassy eyes. “It’s perfect.”
“Yeah,” Andy joins in with a big grin. “A great way to honor my dad.”
“But, what if you have a son? And want the name?”
“This guy right here is the perfect Elijah. Besides, there’s no Elijah Edwards, so why not he be the first.”
“Are you guys sure?”
A tear falls down Aunt Adriana’s cheek. “We are so sure, sweetie.”
Elijah begins to fuss inside his crib, which sounds like an ‘I’m hungry’ cry. I lift him up and gently rock him before remembering how to latch him on properly. The nurse spent an hour with me last night, which resulted in me crying because I struggled with the task.
“Should I turn around for this, or what?”
“Breastfeeding is a natural part of life,” I remind him. “But yes, please do until I figure out how to latch him on. You don’t want to see what’s happening with my nipples.”
Beau sinks into his chair, pulling his Yankees cap over his eyes. “Does it hurt?”
“It’s not pleasant. It’s weird. I’m sure I just need to get used to it.”
“So, does the milk just come out all the time?”
“According to the nurse, my milk hasn’t officially come in. Elijah is drinking colostrum. Ava said when it comes in, it’s a real bitch.”
He lets out a long whistle. “I never realized how much women go through.”
“Yeah, maybe it’s something to think about every time your penis wants playtime with a vagina.”
“Nice way to put it,” he mocks.
Elijah finally latches and begins to drink. Mom returns not long after and sends Beau home to shower and sleep. Apparently, he is staying with Will and Millie until he flies back home in a week’s time. The thought of him leaving stirs a sadness within me, but I try not to dwell on it knowing I have this new life to navigate through, and Beau has his own life too.
The doctor finally discharges me two days later, and thank God, because the hospital was driving me insane. It’s so hard to rest in the uncomfortable beds to the constant noise and beeps. The food was abysmal.
On the day we go home, Dad makes sure the car seat is properly secured in the back of the new Range Rover he bought me. Of course, I argued I didn’t need an expensive new car, but let’s face it, my old car was totaled, and there was no getting it back.
Still, Dad didn’t have to go all out but try arguing with a billionaire. There’s no point, and I just waste my breath.
The funny thing is how slow he drives home when we are sitting in the back. I’ve never seen him drive so slowly or focused.
When we finally get home, I breathe with relief. My bedroom is like heaven. I missed my pillow, and sheets, even just my bathroom, which I can use without some nurse asking if I need help.
On the very first night, I expect to have the best sleep.
Elijah has other ideas.
I rock him in my arms, but he appears to be unsettled. Scared to wake up Mom and Dad, I try feeding him, but my breasts are absolutely killing me. The pain is so unbearable I begin to cry. The moment I start to cry so does Elijah.
