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I felt my own tears welling behind my eyes. “I wish I’d been there, I wish I could have protected you, made you safe.” I wanted do everything for him I’d done for Meera and Morgana. He’d been alone the whole time, dealing with everything by himself.
His chest heaved against mine. “I know,” he said against my neck. His hands pressed against my back. “Those, um,” he cleared his throat, “those were the moments I used it with you.”
“When you were emotional?” I asked.
Rhyan nodded and sat back, taking my hand back into his. “After you were lashed, that was the first time it happened. You were bleeding so much. I didn’t want to waste time. I was terrified of you getting an infection, of what those whips would do to you. So when you closed your eyes in my arms, I traveled to my apartment. I did it again the following morning to yours. And tonight, I knew you needed somewhere private to fall apart, a safe place to put yourself back together. And that room was a good option—so.”
“You were using it the right way then, every single time.”
He laughed, the sound mirthless and bitter. “If he could see me now.”
“Fuck him,” I snarled.
Rhyan nodded, his face still pale.
“Is this an effect of the vorakh?” I asked. “How tired you are?”
“It’s….” He took a deep breath. “It’s based on distance. If I travel, say, from the Katurium to my apartment—a distance I’d easily cross—I feel every step at once when I get there. Kind of like I speed walked or finished a sprint. It winds me, but I usually don’t show any signs, and I recover quickly, my power doesn’t really change. Coming here,” he laughed, “we went a bit farther.”
I laughed, too. “Just a bit. So this is like covering the distance all at once?”
Rhyan sighed. “It’s going to take me a little longer to recharge. I just,” he exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I just carried you across Bamaria and across the water to get here. It’s all hitting me now at once. I just need to rest a little, and I’ll be at full strength. I’ll bring us back.”
“Back?”
“Got to get you home to Cresthaven. Every soturion in Bamaria will be looking for you soon. Which….” He fumbled through his belt pocket and pulled out the vadati stone. “Let me report in. By now, they should have realized your seraphim carriage hasn’t arrived.”
I sat back as he cupped the stone in his palm, bringing it to his mouth.
“Aemon,” he said, speaking into the stone.
“Hart, on the way?” he asked, the stone filling with bright blue light.
“We were attacked. Killed an akadim.” He bit his lip, one eyebrow furrowed in concentration, and it dawned on me.
Rhyan hadn’t just used vorakh to save me. He’d broken the first rule of being a soturion—stop the threat. He was supposed to kill the akadim no matter what. And instead, in his fear for me, in his concern, he had let the monster go. He had let it live in favor of saving my life.
My stomach twisted.
Rhyan looked away from me, guilt in his eyes. “Seraphim left us behind. Had to take her grace into hiding. She’s safe,” he said, voice shaking.
“Good work,” Aemon said. “All three dead now. I’ll be sure to credit the second death to you.”
“Who killed the third?” Rhyan asked.
“We’ll discuss it when you arrive. Keep her grace well hidden.”
“Yes, Arkturion.” The stone turned white, and he replaced it in his belt. “Fuck.” He shook his head. “Fuck.”
“Rhyan,” I said. “It’s dead. You did what you had to do.”
“I know,” he said, turning back to me. “I just…Gods. I never thought I’d break that oath.”
I squeezed his hand. “Maybe that oath is wrong to begin with.”
He stared ahead, nostrils flaring, jaw tensed. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot. All the oaths I’ve sworn over the years—the ones I kept, the ones I broke, and if I made the right choice.” He turned back to me. “There’s only one thing I’m sure about. Right or wrong, I’d break my oath a thousand times for you.” His eyes darkened, blazing with the intensity of his words.
His lips were on mine before I could react, and we were kissing like we’d never been interrupted. Like we hadn’t just faced the mouth of death and barely escaped it, like we weren’t miles away from danger, from everyone in Bamaria who was worried and searching for me, like it wasn’t urgent that we get back immediately.
