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"Are you okay?" I asked. "I didn't mean to pressure you." I really needed to get better at this communication thing.
"No, it's okay," she said quickly. "You didn't. You were perfect."
I couldn't keep myself from grinning. "If you ever want to tell the guys that, you're more than welcome."
She snorted. "I'm sure I am."
I smiled softly.
"You're a lot more than that. You're amazing, beautiful, sexy, hot, smart. You're like no one else I ever met. I know I've waited too long to tell you all of this, and I'm sorry for that. I won't even be mad if you keep me waiting twice as long." I might go crazy, but I wouldn't be angry or upset.
Her face turned an adorable shade of pink. "I don't think I'm any of those things, but thank you." She looked down at the tiled floor.
"I've spent a lot of time over the last few weeks thinking. I feel like I've done nothing but think. I've gone back and forth in my mind million times about a billion different things. About you and me. About that night. About the past, the present and the future. I've made decisions and changed my mind, then changed them back again. I thought about what it would be like to be with you. Like you said, we're both very busy. Would we even have time to spend with each other? Would we see each other very often?"
She looked over at me. "The label is considering giving me a job in the office, not out on tour. You'd be traveling the world and I'd be back home, all by myself."
"Is that what you want?" I asked. "To work from the office? No offense, but that sounds kinda dull after—" I gestured around the airport. "All of this."
"It is what I want," she said. "Sooner or later, I have to stop and settle down. Put down roots. I'll miss all of this, but it's the best thing for me." She seemed very certain of that. I hadn't known she'd been thinking about it at all, but apparently she'd been thinking about it a lot. Enough to have made up her mind. I wouldn't even try to talk her out of it. If that was what was best for her then that was what she should do. Touring was exhausting and in the end, it was those of us who got up on stage to perform every night who benefited the most. Not just financially, but we got the most satisfaction, hearing audiences scream for us.
I nodded slowly. "Okay, I can appreciate that. Are you saying we can't be together because I won't be home enough? Or are you trying to say I need to choose between you or the band?" I hoped she wasn't asking that, because that was an impossible choice. Even if I wasn't under contract, I wasn't ready to give up the Rock Dragons.
"No," she said quickly. "That's a choice I would never ask you to make. Ever. I wouldn't ask you to give up what you love for me. I know you love the band and this life. It's in your blood. It's a big part of who you are."
I sagged little in relief. "So, what are you saying? You don't want to be second to this life?" Before she could answer I continued, "I know Jett and Tilly and Strike and Cam had the same problem. So did Mel and Jude, for that matter. They've all managed to overcome it and make it work, because it was what they wanted."
"Yeah," she said softly. "But none of them have children."
My heart stopped and I knew what was coming before she spoke.
"I'm pregnant."
21
Hayley
I had no intention of telling him, until the words slipped out of my mouth. I heard myself say them and couldn't stop. I couldn't take them back once they were said either. All I could do was watch and hope I hadn't set off a figurative bomb in the middle of the airport.
I thought he might lose his mind, but he didn't even look surprised. He looked… Like I'd just confirmed his suspicions.
I should have expected that. I should have guessed he at least thought there was a possibility that test was mine.
It took a solid minute for him to speak. During that time, a million thoughts tumbled through my mind. I expected him to ask if it was his. A fair enough question, under the circumstances. Not because I was known for sleeping around, but because if I hooked up with him for one night, maybe I did it with someone else. Or several someone elses.
Part of me expected him to laugh and think I was joking. A lot of that went around with the Rock Dragons. They liked to laugh and have fun. I hoped he didn't think I was the kind of person who would joke about pregnancy. I had a couple of friends who struggled to get pregnant and I knew it wasn't something to make light of.
My heart raced and my palms were sweating like crazy. Even if I had planned to tell him, I wouldn't have done it in a place like this. People were hurrying past and stopping to give the guys looks now and then, including Axel. It was busy, noisy and not even slightly intimate. Certainly not the place you discussed the rest of your life. Not usually anyway.
He finally spoke.
"Okay," he said slowly. "What do you want to do? About the baby, not us. We can worry about that later." He made a, 'pushing it aside for now,' gesture with his hand.
His question surprised me. That was the last thing I expected him to ask. If anything, I was waiting for him to make this about himself. That's another thing maybe I should have known. Axel was rarely all about himself.
"I want to have it," I said softly. "It's something I've always wanted. Not quite like this, but I've wanted to be a mother for a long time."
He nodded his head, just slightly. I wouldn't have seen the movement if I wasn't watching.
