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“You want me.”
“More than you can possibly know.”
In a swift swoop, his mouth captured hers. Inhaling through her nose to catch her breath, she resisted her urge to yield and pushed him back.
“I’ll be your friend, Xander… But I need some time to process all of this.”
“You don’t want me to kiss you?”
The answer was complicated. More complicated when he rose to full height without moving away, so the truth of what he wanted was pressing into her belly. It was strange. So strange that she smiled. Alex, who she had no idea could react to women, was hard for her.
“What’s funny?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head and dropping her chin to hide her amusement. He caught it on a curled forefinger to raise it up and crooked a questioning brow. “You want me…” Widening her eyes, she dipped them down. “Like really want me.” His expression betrayed he didn’t follow. “It’s strange. Last week I thought you were checking out the hot guys in the coffee shop, the same way I was.”
“Only one I’ve been checking out is you.”
Curious. “Has there been anyone?”
“No. Not since Courtney…” He inhaled as he pondered. “Maybe two months ago, I can’t remember the last time we slept together… I can check my calendar if it’s important for you to know.”
Which was a sad statement of the former relationship or a revealing red flag about him. She couldn’t get caught up in whatever chemistry there was between them. He’d had all his strikes. If he duped her again while she was on notice, it would be on her.
“You write in your calendar when you have sex?”
His countenance loosened. “No, but it will tell me when she and I were last in the same city. It would’ve happened then. We didn’t spend the night together without sleeping together… I was usually only in the city with her for a day or two.”
The intimacies of his previous relationship were his business. “I only wanted to know if in all this time I thought you were gay, you were actually out there seducing women.”
“I’m not a player,” he said. “It’s not like that. I’m not like that. I wouldn’t have the time even if I wanted to be. Not that I do.”
She couldn’t fault him for clarifying more than once. “Will you meet me at the coffee shop tomorrow?”
His simple accepting nod was encouraging. She eased him away and reached around to grab her purse.
“Wait, you’re not leaving… You haven’t drunk your wine.”
And it wouldn’t be a good idea for them to drink alcohol together for a while. Yes, she was still mad and hurt, but he was attractive, and the rules were different. He’d held off from seducing her before because he hadn’t had a choice. She wouldn’t let herself get that close to him, couldn’t just give in to the physical. Forging a friendship was going to be difficult, and that was all they should ever really have.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, slinging the strap of her purse across her body and grabbing his shoulder to pull him down for a cheek kiss. When she stepped past him, he caught her wrist, holding her there. She exhaled. “You made progress. Take the win for what it is.”
“I do and I’m grateful you’re giving me a chance… It’s never been easy for me to watch you walk out and now…”
“Tomorrow,” she said, brushing her fingertips across his stubble. “I’ll see you at lunch.”
Leading him on would be unfair. If she couldn’t forgive and move on, she would have to be honest. If his feelings for her were real, and she couldn’t reciprocate them, staying in his life would be cruel.
She had a lot to think about. Alex wasn’t the man she thought he was, but Xander? She didn’t know him at all.
18
“So he’s not gay,” Gwen said, clarifying what she’d known since the kiss on Saturday night. “And now you find out he’s not a consultant either?”
The Venture bombshell would wait for another time. The hits just kept on coming, it wasn’t easy to absorb them all at once.
“He was proving a point to a friend,” Rainie said. “About relationships.”
Gwen was propped against her pillows while she leaned on the footboard. Wine and solidarity, it never hurt to have company.
