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Coming over, he put his glass on the counter and laid his hand beside it, looming over her. “Every moment between us was genuine. I didn’t give you all the information, I won’t deny that. But I was there, every second, with you because I wanted to be. I asked questions about you because I want to know everything about you… I waited until you were asleep in my bed then left you alone because I wanted you to have safety and comfort. I did want you those nights, every second I did, but it goes against every atom of my being to ever willingly hurt you… which is exactly why it took me so long to tell you the truth. I’m sorry I hurt you, Button. So sorry.”
“Why did you tell me the truth?” she asked, replaying their kiss as she searched him for an answer. “Demetri?”
“I couldn’t stand that scumbag anywhere near you, but… Seeing you in my room, scared and frustrated… You’ve talked so many times about what you want from a relationship, about how it’s not out there, or it doesn’t exist. I couldn’t stand by and watch you upset, knowing there was a chance I could give it to you.”
“Give what to me?”
“Everything you want.”
“You mean like a private island and the Hope Diamond?”
Despite the amused curve of his lips, his tone stayed low and slow. “If you want… Anything material you want is yours, no question. But that wasn’t what I thought when imagining giving you what you wanted.”
“Sex?” she asked. “You thought about sleeping with me?”
The light of satisfaction in his gaze grew. “More than you probably want to hear about right now. But it wasn’t that either.”
“Then what was it?”
“Truth. I got myself so tied up about the corner I was in because all I wanted to do was give you truth. Honesty. Intimacy.”
Sweeping a hand up over her loose scraps of hair, the breeze tickled her neck. Aware of him everywhere, of how close he stood and the heat of his body, those parts she’d quieted around him so many times were awakening again. Instead of shutting them down, should she embrace them? The tingle between her thighs and the knots in her stomach were nothing to the tight yearning in her heavy breasts and the ache of her lips. In so many ways, it was too much. How could she trust herself?
Alex was her friend. She hadn’t switched on the part of herself allowed to experience attraction to him. Even when it tried to rear up, she’d quashed it, demanding it stay dormant.
He’d hurt her. Lied. Trusting him might be impossible, no matter how many truths he told. But at least she could admit her attraction now, even if it was only to herself.
“In conning me, you took too much. You learned the secret part of me I wouldn’t ever share with a partner.”
“That’s just it, Rainie. I don’t want there to be anything you won’t share with me. I’m an all in risk taker, baby. You want an absolute, complete consuming love. One that begs your surrender and gives you no less in return. I surrender myself to you, Rainie Tait. There’s no part of me you can’t have. No part you can’t access. All of me is yours.”
She shook her head. “We can’t… I mean, I can’t.”
“That’s okay,” he said, his touch descending to her jaw. “I’m only telling you a truth. I don’t make any demands. Whatever you decide, I’m yours. Whatever you choose.”
“Xander Gauge,” she whispered, testing the name on her lips. “I have to get to know him.”
His nod was slow. “We can do that.”
“I don’t want any money. Ever.”
His smile seemed to come closer. “Whatever you want, Button. Whatever you want me to approve or deny, you call the shots.”
She licked her lips, sliding her hand up to his shoulder as he descended further. “Who was on the phone when I arrived?”
“Ethan.”
No hesitation. He just answered the question. “Did you tell him?”
“That I kissed you. That I told you I was straight.”
“Did you tell him you intended to tell me the whole truth? About Venture and Xander?”
He shook his head. “I’ve been thinking so much about you, been so worried, I didn’t think about what I was going to tell you.”
“So how do I know you mean any of this? If it’s just a spontaneous impulse.”
“How I feel about you… What I want from you, for us, that’s not spontaneous. I’ve wanted that for weeks. I spent that time getting to know you because I didn’t want to rush. I savored every second with you because I planned to have a lifetime of them.”
