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Her smile quirked. “Dyce said something about a woman in his life.”
“Dyce?” Xander asked, confused. “He’s in California. I thought you were in New York.”
“He didn’t say it to me, he said it to Roxie, or in front of Roxie anyway.”
“I don’t know, but I can find out.”
The bass of the new Ruby Room track thumped against her back. “It’s not important. I was just curious.”
“You’ll meet them all, you know, and you’ll be around when any of them settle down.”
“They’re your friends, I was just—”
“They’ll be your friends too,” he said. “I like that you’re fitting in.”
“You thought I wouldn’t?”
“No, I knew you would.”
“Was that the point?”
“Like I said, Roxie’s a kind of ambassador for the group. It can be daunting. It’s my life, so I’m just used to it. Roxie knows what it is to come in from the outside. Sometimes the mystery of it can be intimidating. I wanted you to see that our life wouldn’t be any different, that we don’t have to be any different to integrate our lives.”
She sighed. “Getting to know Xander Gauge is about more than just our alone time, I get it, I do, and…” Her mouth was a little dry, maybe it was nerves. “You ever hear the expression that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone?”
Silence lingered for a few seconds. “Do you want me to come get you?”
“No!”
“I can be in the air within an hour, but it’ll be—”
“You don’t have a home,” she said, her heart heavy. “You dedicate all your life to your work.”
“And to you,” he said with a note of concern. “Button, if something’s scared you or someone said something—”
“It’s the things I should’ve said. I’m sorry, Alex.”
“Hey,” he said. “Please don’t get upset. I’m coming home soon.”
Home. That was what she wanted and why her heart ached. Work was important to him and nothing would change that. Nothing should change that. She’d said she didn’t want to turn around in six months and not recognize herself. She didn’t want Xander doing that either.
“I just want you to know that you have a home. With me… if you want it.”
“I do, baby,” he said, his voice dropping to that smooth drawl again. “You know I do.”
Her lips curled. “Maybe one day we can come to Crimson together? Find a corner somewhere to make out. Do you know Roxie and Zairn have done it right here? Like in the club.”
“On the main dance floor?” he asked, snickering.
“In the restroom, but maybe that too. He could shut down the whole place for her.”
“I can have him shut it down for us, if that would make you happy.”
“Being with you would make me happy,” she said.
“You have no idea what it means to hear you say that.”
Could be the alcohol or the mood of the night, but she just didn’t want him to go another day alone, thinking about her and them with uncertainty.
