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JUNE 2022
Coming home didn’t feel good like I thought. My parents were murdered, and my brother was gunned down while trying to rob a liquor store. I don’t blame him for his stupidity; drugs just made people different. He was normal before they died, but something twisted in his brain afterward.
They were at the wrong place at the wrong time. A semi slid into a pole going too fast, hit the front of their car with too much force, and flames took everything around it to ashes, our parents included. I hated it just as much as he did. We had wonderful parents who raised us right, and when they died, something in us did too.
So, when my tour was up, and they asked what base I wanted to return to, I wanted nothing to do with New York. I came to Norfolk looking for a place to put down new roots. When I looked at the list of options I had, some drew me to the location typed no differently from the rest. But it stood out as if it was flashing in red with neon beams dancing about.
Here on base, I had to report for my job assignment before going to my new place. I was happy to have time away from the structured days, but it was also all I knew the past fourteen years. I wanted more than just pristine corners on the bed, shined boots, and daily reps. Deployed, I’d seen things I never wanted to share with another soul, and it weighed on me. It was time to lighten the load and learn who I was after all this time.
After getting my papers, I got in my rental and drove to the house I’d bought. I had never stepped foot in it before, just a few tours with the agent by video. I hoped it was as nice as it seemed, but taking the chance on waiting until I got there was risky.
When I pulled up to the address, I double-checked it to make sure I was right. The damn house was bigger than I’d ever needed for just me. Four bedrooms, four and a half baths, had never looked so huge.
The exterior was a dark teal trimmed in tan, reminding me of hunting in the woods. The door was cherry wood and made the bold colors come together. Fresh cut grass lingered in the air as the wind blew its welcome my way.
Heather, the agent, walked out of the house smiling. “Welcome home, Jamison.” She saluted me, and it was the cutest thing I’d seen today.
“At ease, soldier.” When I climbed the steps, she gave me a warm hug like we were best friends. It made sense since we talked constantly.
She’d been patient over the last year while we looked at houses. She’d even accommodated for the time differences.
“Let's get you inside so we can make sure we chose correctly.” She spun on her heels and led me inside.
I'd made no mistake. This was home. Wood floors were throughout the entire place, and updated with fresh colors around the house. I didn't have to worry about old wallpaper, tearing down walls, or even if the carpet was right. The house was move-in ready and all mine.
“The things you ordered will be here in a few hours. All of your utilities are on. The only things you're missing is a wife and kids with this big ol' place.”
No, she wasn't flirting. Heather is happily married with three children. She couldn't wait for me to decorate the place and get settled in so I could have them over for dinner. She was the person who adopted you into her fold and never let go.
“Eventually,” I responded.
Home. Every corner she showed me confirmed that I'd done the right thing by hiring her, getting the house, and coming to Norfolk.
She handed me the casserole dish she'd placed in the oven and left me to my own devices. Starving, I'd tried her broccoli chicken casserole while I waited for furniture.
When the movers got there, I was surprised by how efficient they were. They arranged thousands of dollars of furniture in a few hours. They left me in a fully furnished place, and all I needed to do was decorate and make my bed—a new home for a new life.
Alone with just my thoughts, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Today was day one of me, living, and I’d promised myself that I’d take every opportunity that came my way. No fear. Just me and my truths.
4
SEPTEMBER 2015
At sixteen, I thought I had my life all figured out. I was going to marry Jamison, my childhood sweetheart. We were so in love. Not the crazy teenage love one would expect, but a deep love that encompassed friendship, passion, and respect. We made promises to love each other forever and that we would always be there. I believed I was in control of my destiny, and Jamison was it. But I quickly realized that control was an illusion, and nothing ever worked out according to plans. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, the worst happened, and I spent the next eleven years running for my life in a world I thought only existed in books and the movies.
Every little girl idolizes her daddy, and I was no different. My daddy could lasso the moon and hold it in his hands. He was smart, handsome, and loved my mama and me with his whole heart. But, just like all humans, Daddy had his faults, too.
When my daddy met my mama, he was from the wrong side of the tracks, while mama came from a very wealthy and prestigious family. Her parents, expecting her to marry someone from her own class, did not approve of their union. But they were so much in love; she gave everything up to marry my dad. And while my dad ended up making a good living and could support his family, he felt he had to do more. Not that my mom ever made him feel that way, but deep in his heart, he held on to what she gave up for him and their life together.
So with all that being said, Daddy would try every get-rich scheme he could find. That was until he hooked up with the wrong people. And just like that, everything turned on a dime, and we were running for our lives, always looking over our shoulders. From that point on, we were always running.
I have lived in so many cities over the years. Frankly, I’ve lost count. I’ve made no friends, except for Susie, but she was the only one. I met her two years after the Vitali crime family torched our home in Olean. In a moment of weakness, I told her everything. I was so afraid they sent her to spy on us and terrified that the Vitalis would find us—even after she reassured me she didn’t even know who they were. Still, I was on pins and needles most of the time, just waiting for the shoe to drop. But it never did. Susie had been my rock over the years and had proven to be a genuine friend. She was the only person I could trust.
Five years ago, my parents were in a car accident. Hit and run drunk driver, and they were both killed instantly. I swear the Vitalis got them, but I didn’t have any proof. All I knew was they were gone, and I had to be on my own. I didn’t even know if I was safe from them, so I kept moving just in case I was not. It was all I knew how to do.
* * *
I think about Jamison all the time. I’m sure he is married now, with a family of his own. There are so many times I’ve wanted to go back to Olean, but I have been afraid. After they burned our house to the ground, the newspapers reported us as dead. When we were sixteen, the only thing that would have come between us was death, and on the night we left Olean, it had.
