Page 534 of Tease Me


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“I know you’ve been saying that, but I just don’t believe it. I need to leave here.” Already crying, I barely hold it together.

There is a knock at the door. “Sam, are you okay?” Hawk asks.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks and holler out, “Yeah, just give me a minute.”

“Ok, darlin’,” he says, and I can hear him walk away from the door.

I whisper into the phone, “I’m leaving here tonight. Can I come stay with you?”

Susie replies, “Of course you can, you always have a place here.”

“I’ll let you know when I get on the road,” I pause, “and thank you!”

“You got it.” We ended the call.

I splash water on my face and walk out of the bathroom. I casually walk over to the bar, grab my purse, and walk toward Hawk, who is no longer talking to Michael Vitali.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, hey, sorry for being rude. I just realized I forgot something in my car. I’ll be right back.”

He smiles, and I pause for a moment to memorize his face. I know I will never see him again, and it breaks my heart because I love him, and will love his baby. I wish I could tell him everything, which I know I can’t. Not with his connection to the Vitalis. And, knowing Hawk, he will try to fix it, and it will put him and the club in an awkward position with the family, and I can’t do that. I just need to leave.

I kiss him on the cheek, and whisper in his ear, “I love you.”

Before he can respond, I turn and head for the door. Tears fall down my cheeks. I want to stay, but I know I can’t. When I get to my car, I realize I’ve done this before. First with Jamie and now with Hawk. Am I ever supposed to find any happiness?

I get in my car, start the engine, and wait for a second. My conscience is telling me to stay. Tell him everything. It won’t be as bad as you think. Think of his kid.

I shake my head. “No!” I can’t tell him, and the best thing for everyone involved is for me to leave.

I put the car in gear, pull out of the space, and leave through the gates. The prospects guarding the gates wave. I nod. They will tell Hawk I left.

I rush back to my apartment and grab a few things. I don’t have time to take everything.

Once I get back on the road, I call Susie. When she answers, all I say is, “I’m on my way.”

7

MAY 2021

Norfolk has now become my home. When I first arrived, I stayed with Susie and her husband and spent a lot of time deciding where I would go next. After Lucas was born, Susie convinced me to stay. Her argument was that I had been here a year already, and I had a support system, meaning her. She was right. I spent so much time running that everything I did was on my own. I have to say, it’s been really nice having her here. She is a loyal friend.

Lucas is growing so fast, and every time I look at him, I think of Hawk. I should have told him about his son, but I was always afraid to contact him and the club again. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, especially with Lucas starting kindergarten in two weeks. Hawk deserves to know his son.

“Personally, Sam, I think you should make a trip back up to Pennsylvania and introduce Lucas to his father. You don’t have to stay.”

“Yeah, but Hawk will want to spend time with him.”

“As he should. Lucas is his son!” I frustrated her and I can’t say that I blame her. “You need to tell Hawk everything and let him know he can see his son any time he wants, but he has to come to you.” She tucks a loose hair behind her ear. “He will understand.”

“He won’t leave his club.”

“He doesn’t have to. He can visit.”

“But what about me? I had hopes that Hawk and I would get married and raise Lucas together.”

“You’re right, he’s not gonna leave his club, but marriage doesn’t have to be the goal. Lucas needs his father in his life. Simple, and you have to take what you can get.”

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