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In the meantime, I grabbed the body wash and started to slather it all over me.
I almost managed not to jump through the ceiling when the pink, floral shower curtain was flicked aside.
Axel peered around it and smiled.
Dammit, where did he get off being so cute?
"There you are," he said. "Do you mind if I join you?" Before I could respond, he stepped inside the shower and closed the curtain behind him.
"Want me to wash your back?" He grabbed the body wash and gestured for me to turn around.
I turned and swept my hair over one shoulder. "You realize this is a really bad idea, right?"
When he started to trace slow, deliberate circles over my back, it didn't seem quite so bad.
"I admit it's a tight space," he said, "but I've been in worse."
I snorted a laugh. "That's not what I meant and you know it."
His movements slowed. "You're regretting last night? Do you want me to leave?"
"Yes. No." I shook my head and sighed. I very much wanted him to stay. I wanted to go back to bed with him and be with him again, over and over. But at the same time, I reminded myself he was a rock star and I was an employee of the label. He could have pretty much any girl he wanted. Before last night, I accepted that as a part of life. Now, I was conflicted.
The idea of watching him go off with other women actually hurt. It was stupid, he owed me absolutely nothing. I owed him nothing either. But I felt how I felt. I could easily fall for him if I wasn't careful.
Yeah, being naked in the shower with him was not something I would put into the, ‘being careful,’ basket.
He washed a little faster. "Which is it? I don't want to assume anything here, but you seemed to enjoy last night as much as I did."
"I did," I said quickly. "It was… Wonderful. I just…" Apparently I’d lost the ability to put sentences together. That had a little bit to do with the situation and a lot to do with the whole naked rock star washing my back, thing.
"You're worried we might create another publicity mess?" He pumped out more body wash and started on my lower back.
I groaned. I hadn't even thought that far ahead. I was so busy worrying about what the label might think I hadn't consider what the paparazzi would say. I could imagine and it wouldn't be pretty. They would start with us working together and quickly move on to criticizing my looks and comparing me to anyone else Axel was ever seen in public with. They’d probably assume I was trying to get a promotion or something. Because, of course, a woman couldn't sleep with a man like him without some sort of agenda.
I mentally rolled my eyes.
"I feel like I already owe you another dinner," he said.
"You don't owe me anything," I said over my shoulder. "We both made the choices we made. If it ends up messy, I'm as much to blame." More so, because I was the one who’d have to pick up more pieces if this blew up. How many scandals had I dealt with in the past that I hadn't learned my lesson about going there?
"Hey." He slipped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck. "There is no blame here. Just two consenting adults enjoying each other. We have nothing to feel guilty for, or bad about. If other people have a problem, that's their problem."
"Yeah." I didn't think he was seeing the full extent of what might happen, but I decided not to push it. Not now. Not when his hands were wondering over my body and my blood was getting hot all over again.
The shower chose then to turn freezing cold, then gradually back to warm.
We both let out sounds of surprise. Me, a squeal, him, a grunt.
"We should hurry up," I said. "When it starts doing that, it doesn't stay warm for very long."
"Good to know," he said. "I wouldn't want to freeze my balls off."
"No, you wouldn't," I agreed. I wouldn't want that for him either. I grabbed the shampoo and quickly washed my hair while he washed himself. Like he said, the shower was a very tight space, so we bumped into each other every few moments. After the first couple of times, we stopped apologizing, and laughed instead.
In spite of the water running hot and cold, it felt as normal and natural to have a shower with him as it did to share a bed.
I reminded myself this was only going to happen once, but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy it while it did. A voice in the back of my head told me I shouldn't be doing any of this, but I told it to shut up.
