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"How many times do I have to tell you I didn't cheat," he said.
"As many times as you like," I said. "Doesn't mean it's not true." I picked up a paddle and a ball that lay on the table. I bounced the ball a few times before I served it over the net.
"How do you cheat at ping-pong?" Jett asked.
"More importantly, why would you cheat?" Nate asked. "It's not usually known for its high stakes."
"I once heard about this underground game of ping-pong," Jude said. "If you lose, they kill you. Better to cheat than die, right?"
"I don't think that's an actual thing," Jett said. "And if it is, what are the odds you would end up there?"
"It's Jude," Strike said. "Anything is possible.
"Exactly," Jude said. "Thank you for validating my justification."
"Are we going to play, or are we going to talk?" I asked.
"I'm going to get a beer," Cord said. "We can play after."
"Cord is grumpy because we insisted on a guy's night out," Strike said. "He's having separation anxiety from Harper. Meanwhile, she's probably enjoying a night out with Ripley and Mel."
"Is Hayley going too?" I asked, trying not to look too interested.
"Didn't you resolve things with her yet?" Jett asked. He ordered a beer and stepped aside for me to get to the bar.
"Every time I try to talk to her, she's busy with work," I said. "Or I am." Had I tried hard? Not hard enough, if I was honest with myself. People always talk about how chill and calm I seem, but the truth is that deep down I have as hard a time taking things seriously as Jude does. He jokes about things and I just don't think about them too much.
Avoidance is a healthy coping strategy, right?
Okay, no it's not, but that was what I did. If I told Hayley I wanted to be with her, then I couldn't un-say it. I wouldn't want to un-say it. I wanted to be sure. The last thing I wanted in this world was to be anything other than completely honest with her. But in order to do that, I had to be honest with myself. I was much better at just not devoting deep thought to… Much of anything. Wasn't life too short to get bogged down in dark places?
And so, I hadn't spoken to her properly. We had conversations here and there, but mostly about work. Journalists wanted my take on what happened with Jude and Mel, and Hales and I worked through what I should and could say about it. And what I wanted to say about it, which wasn't much. At the end of the day, it was their business and no one else's. Not even mine, even though she was my sister and he was my best friend. Whenever they got up to was also something I didn't want to think to deeply about. I'm hundred percent sure they felt the same way about me.
"That sounds familiar," Jett said. "Tilly and I made excuses like that. I bet Strike and Cam and Cord and Harper did the same."
"And it worked out for all of you in the end," I said. "Without any of you having to rush into anything."
He shrugged. "I guess so, but on the other hand, how much time did we waste trying to figure things out?"
"Yeah, but how would things have worked out if you rushed?" I asked. "Maybe wasting time isn't such a bad thing. Maybe, just maybe, it's not a waste, it's just being careful."
"If you're really careful, you'll be single for the rest of your life," Strike said.
"Maybe that's what I want." I picked up my beer and walked away from the bar.
"And maybe you'd be happier playing pop, or classical." Jude followed me away from the bar. His own beer in his hand.
"You were happily single about five minutes ago," I reminded him. "No one was judging you then."
"I was judging him," Strike said. "Just like I'm judging you. And not for being single, because do whatever you want, but for being a wuss. It's not cool to leave a woman hanging. Tied up, yes, with consent, but not hanging."
Cord grimaced at him. "TMI, dude."
Strike matched his expression, but then grinned unapologetically. "It's not my fault if your love life is boring."
"It is not boring," Cord protested.
I made a face at the other guys and jerked my head to the side to indicate we should walk away from them while they were having this conversation. Those two could go on for hours.
