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Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I decide to push myself a little. Increasing my pace, I start to walk faster. Pretty soon, I am up to a full-blown jog.
But when sharp pain shoots from my leg all the way up my body, I stop dead in my tracks. I bend over and brace myself so I don’t topple to the ground.
Fuck.
Spotting a big rock a few feet away, I make my way over to it and take a seat. I look down at the scar on my leg. Running my fingers over the uneven skin, I wonder if I’ll ever feel normal again. It seems like everything that I used to enjoy now is just a distant memory.
And I can’t even get a job to keep my mind off all of it. I feel tears starting to burn behind my eyes, but instead of attempting to hold them back like I usually do, I instead let them begin to flow freely down my cheeks.
The weight of everything I’ve been holding in the past few weeks comes crashing down on me. I feel the depression knocking at my door, and I don’t know if I have the strength to keep it in any longer. I consider texting Shane, but I don’t want to bother him with my drama while he’s at work. He doesn’t need to take on my problems as well as his own.
Instead, I stand up and make my way back to my house. It’s a short walk, but on my now-sore leg, it seems much further.
When I finally get home, I immediately head for the bedroom. Not even bothering to take my shoes off, I climb in bed and clutch a pillow against my chest while my tears begin to soak the one underneath my head.
Finally, I’m forced to feel everything I’ve been numb to. And I know it’s going to be a long fucking day.
Chapter Thirty-seven
Shane
After work, I’m anxious to get to Jenna, but I have to run home and help Grandma with something since Grandpa still isn’t feeling well. I waste no time getting it done and taking a quick shower, though.
I haven’t heard from Jenna at all today, and although I’m not the type to need her to check in constantly, it’s odd that it’s been radio silence. My text from a few hours ago has gone unanswered, and when I called to tell her I’d be a little late, there was no answer.
On my way to her house, a million awful scenarios run through my head about everything that could’ve happened, each one worse than the last. I pray she didn’t fall or hurt herself.
I also wonder if she might be mad at me, but I don’t know what I could have done. Every night we spend together seems to be damn near perfect, and we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other.
Speeding through the quiet streets of Grady, I soon arrive at Jenna’s. I quickly park and head inside.
The front door is unlocked, but all of the lights in the living room are off. It doesn’t look like there’s a single light on in the entire house.
When I head into the bedroom, the tiniest sliver of light from the setting sun peeks through the curtains. In the faint glow, I see Jenna lying in bed. She’s on her side, holding onto a pillow.
I have no idea what’s going on, but to be honest, it doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, I’m here.
And I’m not going anywhere.
After kicking off my boots, I climb into bed behind her. My body aligns perfectly against her back as I rest my hand on her side. There’s nothing sexual about it. I just want her to know that I’m here.
I’ll always be here.
Her body relaxes against mine as I hold her. Silence hangs in the air between us, but I decide to let her be the one to break it. This isn’t about me.
She is so quiet and still that I wonder if she’s fallen asleep after a while.
It isn’t until I hear a faint “Hi,” that I realize she’s still awake.
“Hi, Sunshine,” I whisper against her skin.
She lifts her head a few inches off the pillow, and I slide my arm in its place. Laying her head back down, she scoots a little closer to me.
My hand feels the wet spot on her pillow, and I realize she’s been crying. Suddenly things start to make a bit more sense as to why she’s been M.I.A. today.
Still whispering, she says, “Today’s been a bad day.”
Not wanting to downplay her feelings by telling her tocheer up,I instead say, “That’s alright. Bad days are alright. They help us appreciate the good ones a little more.”
