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“But my life here in Grady seems to fit too—my life with you.”
It makes me happy that she wants to stay for me, but I also don’t know that I can be theonlyreason she stays. That would probably lead to nothing more than a whole lot of resentment.
She looks back at me. “I love you, Shane. I don’t want this thing to fall apart, but let's be honest; long-distance relationships don’t typically work out.”
She’s right. Relationships are hard enough without adding distance into the mix.
“Let me ask you this, Jenna: what other reasons besides our relationship do you have for wanting to stay in Grady?”
She thinks for a moment. “My family. I mean, it’s been nice being close to them again.”
She says the words, but I can tell that there’s almost no conviction behind them. She’s just trying to make me feel better.
“Jenna, family is family. No matter the distance, you are going to be there for each other.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you were about to tell me I should take the job.” She says the words with a nervous smile like she’s waiting for me to reassure her she’s wrong.
But I can’t do that. As much as I want to beg and plead for her to stay, I can’t be the reason she gives up something she really wants. She’s been talking about volleyball ever since she got home, and this is a chance for her to have a sliver of her past life once again. Who am I to deprive her of that?
Knowing I will regret the next words out of my mouth, I say, “I think you should take the job.”
Chapter Forty-nine
Jenna
“What?” I ask, not believing the words I’m hearing.
Here’s the thing: I’ve spent all afternoon pondering this job offer. Does it sound like an incredible opportunity? Absolutely. But the only way I was going to take the job was if Shane thought we could make the long-distance thing work.
Now, not only is he telling me he doesn’t think long-distance will work, but he’s telling me I should take the job anyway.
As much as I miss my old life, I am much more in love with Shane and my new life.
Maybe it sounds super petty of me, but I wanted him to fight for me.
To fight forus.
But he’s not fighting for anything.
I’d be lying if I said my feelings weren’t hurt.
“You think we should just end it?” I ask, trying to fight the urge to cry.
“Jenna,” he begins. He keeps using my name instead of calling me his cute nickname. I’d give anything to hear him call meSunshineright now. “Ever since you got home, you’ve been missing volleyball. I know how important it is to you, and I don’t want to stand in the way of that. This sounds like a great opportunity.”
“I guess,” I stammer. Now growing offended, I add, “I just don’t know how you can say let’s just end it. I thought you and I were more than that.”
He takes his baseball cap off and pushes his hair out of his eyes before putting it back on. “Don’t you get it, Jenna? You are fucking everything to me. That’s why I can’t let you throw your life away just for me.”
“Who says I’m throwing my life away?”
“I think you and I have both known that you have always been destined for bigger things than Grady, Tennessee. There’s a whole big world out there for you to conquer.”
“Shouldn’t that be my decision?” I ask with a major attitude.
“Not if you decide that being with me is more important than all those hopes and dreams that you once had.”
I know he thinks he’s just taking care of me, in typical Shane McPherson fashion, but I don’t need it. I’m a grown-ass woman who can make her own decisions.
