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Just when I was starting to get comfortable.
The realist in me wins again.
Nothing good ever lasts long.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Jonas
“What do you mean you’re just leaving?” I ask Andi as she gathers up her stuff.
“I don’t know what needs explaining, Jonas. You were letting me stay here because I didn’t have any stuff. Now, I do. I don’t want to wear out my welcome.” The last words are laced with sarcasm.
“Andi, that’s not the only reason I like having you here, and you know it.”
“And why’s that?”
“Are you going to make me say it? You want to act like you don’t know how crazy I am about you? Are you saying you’re walking away from this?”
She interrupts. “I never said that.”
“Good. Because what you and I have is good. It’s special.”
She pauses to look at me. “Yes, Jonas, it’s great. But you can’t deny that this whole lack of stuff has fast-tracked this relationship. Things have moved quicker than they would have otherwise.”
“Bullshit. I’ve already told you that I would have come over and done everything in my power to make you mine.”
“Right. But we wouldn’t be living together.” Her cold tone is starting to irritate me.
“Andi, what is this all about? We were doing great, and now, you’re running away like a bull who has just been branded.”
Her face scrunches up. “I don’t get that analogy.”
I huff. “I just mean you’re running away from this. From us.”
“I’m not running. Just going back to my place, which is less than a hundred yards away.”
“Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on? Why are you so anxious to get out of here?” I ask.
“Because…” she begins but pauses to search for the right words. After taking a deep breath, she continues, “Jonas, I moved in with Michael in high school, and I never stopped living with him. We went from his mom’s place straight to our college apartment and then into our house. I’ve never lived alone besides the past few weeks before I moved. And I don’t think that counts because I was still living the life Michael set up for us. And then, I move and completely change everything about my life just to move straight in with you?”
“Fuck Andi, I’m not saying we have to live together, but you saw the truck and freaked out.”
Her voice raises slightly. “Because clearly, it’s a sign. A reminder of why I came here.”
“Huh?” I ask, utterly confused.
“Jonas, I’ve been living my life someone else’s way for a decade now. It’s time that I start living my lifemyway.”
“Andi, I’m not telling you how to live your life. If I’ve done that, please let me know because that was never my intention.”
“I’m not saying you’ve done anything, but I just don’t want to put myself in that position.”
I get what she’s saying. Her husband didn’t allow her to have what she wanted…or even figure outwhatit was that she wanted.
But I’d be lying if I said I’m not hurt by the fact that she can’t see the difference between that jerk and myself.
She interrupts my thoughts. “I like you, Joe. I like you a lot, and to be honest, that scares the shit out of me. I’ve been with two men my whole life, and with both of them, I seemed to have just jumped right into the thick of things. Is this real? Or is this just what I do? Or did I fall for the first guy that was nice to me after my husband died?”
