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He pushed to his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets and pacing across my floor, stopping at one of the snow globes on top of the bookshelf in my room. "I see you still have the snow globes."
I shrugged. "Yeah.” When we were younger, I’d told him that my parents and my sister and I used to travel a lot. And wherever we went, they'd get us these mini snow globes of the city. They were my memories of Lenora.
My nose started to sting, and I rapidly blinked my eyes as I spoke. "Sometimes I'll find something that I know that she would really, really love and I'll just buy it, you know? And save it for when I see her again one day."
His gaze met mine. "I'm sorry you still haven’t found her. But if she hasn’t been able to get in touch with you, I know it must be for a good reason."
"I refuse to give up though. I will find her."
"I believe you." He indicated the plate again. "Eat."
"I'm doing my best. Can we… Can we get out of here? I sort of don't want to be at home right now."
He frowned. "I don't think it's the best idea to go out."
"Oh, I'm not talking out, out. Just the campus pub. It's down the street. It's local and full of students. I just think it'll help stop me from feeling shaky, and I just don't want to be here right now."
He nodded slowly. "All right. Only for a little bit though. And we probably shouldn't drink."
"Okay, Julian."
He wrinkled his nose. "Please, are you one of those girls with a daddy fetish? I mean, you can call me daddy if you like, but I find it odd."
I started choking on the piece of egg that was in my mouth. "No. I'm not calling you daddy."
"You don't have a daddy thing?"
"I think it's clear I have daddy issues, but not in that way. And you are no one's daddy."
"No, clearly, I'm not. I'll give you a sec to freshen up and what not. Be ready in five, then we'll go."
When he reached the door, I stopped him. "Hey, Westin?"
"Yeah, what is it?"
"Thanks again."
He shrugged. "Sure thing. Mostly, I’m trying to butter you up so that you're ready to talk to me about that whole thing in the closet where you were giving me soft doe eyes and practically begging me to kiss you."
22
Westin
I was officially out of time. I needed Nissa to trust me, stat. If she was planning a stance against Julian, then I needed to know so I could give her better coverage.
And read her in on what you’re doing.
As much as I could anyway.
She didn’t trust me. If she didn’t trust me, she wouldn’t talk. And the longer she didn’t talk, the longer she’d stay in the cross hairs.
You're going soft.
Maybe I was. It didn't change the fact that I knew what I was doing. I knew the position I was putting her in. And while there was a part of me that was helpless to stop it, I was still doing it, still deliberately hurting her.
Technically I had been off the clock since we got home from the pub last night. So this morning I went out early and picked up something special for her. I told myself it was merely a peace offering. That I wasn’t giving into the churning feelings I had.
My pulse started to beat frantically when I heard the front door to the flat open. My stomach started to twist. I knew this all meant something more, and I didn’t know if I was ready to walk off that precipice again.
