AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He doesn’t plan on being temporary. He doesn’t want to leave. But instead of relief or happiness flooding me at the revelation; I feel nothing but dread, and I hate it.
Because that’s only going to make it so much harder when he’s taken from me.
Everybody leaves, whether they want to or not.
4
“Ezra, I-” After a moment, I calm down long enough to try to speak, but he cuts me off in a gentle, soft voice, his naturally deep, reverberating tone vibrating straight through my body.
“Don’t. It’s okay.” I hiccup, swallowing through the tightness in my throat as he one hundred percent lets me off the hook. I don’t know what to think–what to say–but it’s like he intrinsically knows that already and doesn’t want me to struggle through it.
“But, I-”
“No, Squeaks. I know. You don’t have to say anything. You struggle a lot with this side of things. And that’s okay. I don’t know the extent of the why, maybe one day you’ll trust me enough to tell me, maybe not. I don’t mind either way. I just want you to know where I stand.”
What did I do to deserve him?
He understands me in a way no one person ever has before. Not my nana, not my dad, and certainly not my mom. But he’s right, he doesn’t know the extent of my sufferings or why I am the way I am. No one does.
My troubles certainly didn’t end the night of my car accident.
I was, at one point, a damn good person. And that didn’t just end the night I felt like I lost everything. I still had so damn much to lose, I just didn’t know it yet. That came later. But how do you tell someone you care for the sordid details of a spiraling woman’s past? He thinks he loves me, but he hasn’t seen anything yet. He doesn’t know. He can’t possibly.
So what happens when he finds out? Will that love he thinks he holds for me burn hotter than the volcanic, destructive truth that I guard with my life?
If I had a magic eight ball with me right now, I know what it would say…
Outlook not so good.
I’m saved from having to try and continue on from the conversation, or even trying to change the subject, when the door bangs open. Ezra’s entire body is instantly coiled tightly beneath me until he registers who just stumbled into the room like a clumsy horse, then he simply relaxes once more and rubs at my spine while I hide my face in his shirt.
“Were you guys being naughty in here?” Kai’s voice is joyful and teasing as he slams something heavy on the table in front of us.
I choke out a forced laugh without moving to keep him from noticing, but his aura just flashes with concern and curiosity, so I know I didn’t fool him. Luckily, he chooses not to say anything, choosing to rifle through whatever he brought with him. Whether that’s because he didn’t want to prod out of the kindness of his heart, or because Ezra warned him off, I don’t know. I’m grateful regardless.
Nic’s aura joins him as he lets another two heavy items fall to the table as well, but he’s far too busy with whatever the items are to notice anything else, and I use the reprieve from watchful gazes to pull my big girl panties up and get myself together.
It might be about that time for me to don my red badge of courage with how fuckingemotionalI’ve been lately.
I don’t get them regularly at all because of my birth control. Hell, sometimes it can even be months between visits. But when they hit…well, you better run for cover, because they hithard. And all this shit I’ve been feeling? Totally seems like Aunt Flo has her toxic-ass hand in it.
“What did you find?” I finally find my voice, perking up slightly in my seat–I mean on Ezra.
“This is every news article or form for public record that has even remotely mentioned your car accident. We printed off news articles and transcripts from TV casts as well. It may seem like a lot, but it’s all seemingly repetitive so far.” Nic’s voice is distracted as he focuses on his task, and I settle in to wait for them to go through everything.
I mean…it’s not like I can help or anything. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
“Your dad, what did you say he did for a living again?” Kai voices as he too dives into the boxes of information, handing a stack to Ezra without much thought.
It doesn’t even take much effort on Ezra’s end to just go through the stuff around me, so I don’t feel bad that I’m still perched on his lap. Fucking sue me, nobody would give up this seat, not for anything in the world. I certainly won’t.
“He was an architect, why?”
Dad was a successful architect and my mom was a…stay at home mom. If you can call her that, I suppose. She mostly just sat around and binge watched shows and movies while eating and drinking away the money my dad brought in. Apparently, she used to be a hairdresser before she married my dad, but I can neither confirm nor deny that. Especially because every time my dad set aside money for me to go get my hair done, she took the money and cut my hair herself. And it was…not good.
More like an absolute travesty.
“Because there are tons of news articles about the accident, saying things like Manna County lost an important member of the community and shit. But nothing in here says why he was so important.” Kai continues flipping through papers as he speaks and I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me.
