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“I’m big enough to kick your ass! I’m big enough for school!” Nali laughs as Kai crumples to the floor, his hands rubbing at his leg as he groans.
“Watch your language, you little cretin!” He lunges for her, and a squeal of delight leaves her throat as she takes off into the large living room. Kai scrambles to his feet and stumbles after her with a playful growl, the two of them playing an innocent game of cat and mouse for a few minutes.
The front door slams open, shocking them both to a halt.
“You little fuckers! Who left their shit right in front of the door? I about busted my ass!” The menacing voice has little Nali flinching and tucking her small form behind a large chair.
Kai puts his pointer finger to his mouth to shush her before pointing towards an archway behind her, motioning for her to go. Her dark brown eyes and angled features flash with terror before she silently takes off, leaving Kai spinning towards the entryway to whoever awaits him.
“Sorry, Pa. I didn’t mean to leave it there. The-” A large, imposing form emerges from around the corner, eyes bloodshot and wreaking of stale sweat and cheap whiskey. With his pale features flushed red from the obvious intoxication, it’s not hard to see the moment his bright blue gaze narrows itself hatefully towards Kai.
“I’m not your fucking pa, you piece of shit. Only your mom wants you to call me that!”
The venom shooting from his mouth doesn’t even force a flinch from Kai, and he doesn’t move as the man barrels towards him. He stands resolutely in place, even as the man swings and backhands him across the face.
He just takes it silently.
Which the man doesn’t like.
“Little shit thinks he’s a man now. Alright then…go get the switch.” The man storms away and Kai hesitates for a moment, his eyes flicking in the direction Nali disappeared in, but ultimately he starts moving towards the door on the other side of the room, the one standing open, where it was closed only moments ago.
The descent down the stairs is dark and abysmal, each step echoing with the promise of pain and violence, but Kai takes each one with his head high and shoulders back. When he reaches the bottom, a punishing grip shoves him further into the stale dilapidated area, making him stumble to his knees.
Without a moment's hesitation, Kai simply gets back up and continues walking towards his destination.
A wall at the end holds countless tools and items hung from rusty nails, the sheetrock cracked and crumbling beneath their weight, but Kai barely glances at any of them before reaching towards the handle of one. Three long strips of leather lined with sharp silver hang menacingly from where he holds it, but he stubbornly refuses to look too long at the tool before turning and facing the man standing in the middle of the room by a metal post.
“Get into position.” The monster orders, anger emanating from his vibrating form as Kai does what he says.
The man’s touch is anything but gentle as he shoves Kai face first towards the post. Jerking his wrists above him and shackling them into place, he steals the tool from Kai’s hand.
“Now. State your sins.”
Kai swallows thickly, head straight and gaze focused on a flake of dried blood on the post before him as he answers. “I disrespected you.”
* * *
Pulling away from the hold of the memory, fear claws at my spine, my heart aching miserably at what I just saw. But I know I have to keep going, so I do.
On and on it goes, flashes of Kai’s life filled with pain and suffering at such a young age, the only light in his life is also his only reason to keep going. His sister.
Year after year, he takes each beating, each punishment, resolutely and with the determination and bravery of a thousand seasoned soldiers. He protects his sister, he takes the blame, he tries to save her from it at all possible avenues.
But with them both trapped in the maw of a ravenous beast who feeds on misery and pain, his hope of her making it out unscathed is an impossible, unattainable dream.
So he uses his jokes, his lightness, his humor to get her to smile every time it happens. She is his sunshine, his beacon through the storm, and he is hers.
But the smiles grow less and less through every peek into their abysmal existence, slowly withering away in appearance until they all but disappear completely.
I search for the good memories, I grasp blindly at the threads of each one, hoping beyond hope that just one good one could swoop in and rescue me from the darkness threatening to destroy me from the inside out.
Bittersweet is the hero that saves me.
* * *
“Don’t cry,jamae.” Kai strokes Nali’s silky black hair as she rests on his lap, shaking with the force of her sobs. She’s older than in the last memory and her slight form is decorated in vicious bruises. Kai’s hands and voice shake in turn as he hovers over and focuses on each visible one. “He’s just an evil man, you didn’t do anything. You didn’t deserve this.”
“I can’t take it anymore, Kai. I can’t! He’s going to kill us one of these days!” Her voice is hoarse, almost as if her throat is damaged as surely as her skin is.
