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Her head bobbed up and down frantically. “I don’t know anything about sex; well, I didn’t. I do now, but I know there’s more. I tried researching it to death, but there’s no substitute for experience. I write romance, Josh; I need to know about this. You could show me and when you need help on any of the project analysis, I’ll be there. It’s kind of perfect, and we are friends, right? We could help each other.”
“Caroline, I don’t know.” Something inside him wanted to say yes, because he wanted to take her to all the places her body would allow. But there was no way. Their families would know. “No. It’s not a good idea.”
She turned beet red.
Shit. The look on her face made him want to grab her and pull her into his lap. She was embarrassed. If she’d only been able to read his mind and realize that she didn’t have to offer him something to keep his interest. If they didn’t have the family entanglements—he wasn’t even going to think about how things might have been different. But they weren’t. And he didn’t do complicated relationships.
Standing, she was trembling a little now. “I’m going to go. I should be able to get an Uber now, right? Never mind... I’ll get out of your hair.”
“I’ll call you a car.” He was going to make sure she got home safely.
“It’s fine. Don’t bother.”
“I’ll call.”
She went off without looking at him and Josh tamped down the anger that was building inside him. The thing was, he didn’t know why he was so pissed. Was he angry at her? At himself? He had no fucking clue. Refocusing, he picked up the phone and dialed the car service.
As he waited for the line to connect, he thought about what she’d proposed.Teach her?She wanted him to teach her about sex?It was ridiculous, and wrong and...hot.It was really, really hot to think about all the things he could teach the pretty Caroline, and Josh had no doubt she would be an excellent student. But he needed to get his body to realize this had been a one-time thing. It had to be.
He murmured a quiet thank-you when the dispatcher finally picked up, and he could arrange for her ride. He had to get Caroline out of his apartment before he lost control, dragged her back to bed and started those lessons she wanted.
* * *
This wasn’tthe first time Caroline wished she could crawl into a deep hole and pull the dirt in over her, but the ride back to her apartment was by far the most humiliated she’d ever been. What had she been thinking? She hadn’t been. It was one of her great gifts that she could both overthink everything and blurt out exactly what was on her mind. And what had been on her mind was her amazing night with Josh.
She’d left one of her business cards with a note in his desk, offering her help without any strings, and she hoped he knew he could count on her. Her firm was getting a reputation for playing fast and loose with environmental laws and she didn’t want Josh to get caught in the crossfire.
The driver asked for her address and Caroline wondered what she’d tell her roommate when she got home. She and Tessa Maneri had been friends since their first day together at Cornell. They couldn’t have been more different, but that was part of what made it fun. What they did have in common were their sharp minds and commitment to their futures. They’d both deferred dating until they’d finished school, but unlike Caroline, Tessa had jumped into the New York social scene with both feet. Her friend had landed a high-profile job with a political think tank that put her in contact with the rich and powerful in New York and Washington. Tessa went out a lot. She dated a lot. Unfortunately, Caroline hadn’t had the same luck.
Sometimes, she wondered if she’d set the bar too high. Men she met through her work were smart and successful, but no one had ever piqued Caroline’s interest. It was possible now that she’d been with Josh, no one would ever be good enough.
She’d worshipped him when she was a young teen and they lived on the estate. Then when the families exploded over Meg and Jason’s relationship, everything fell apart.
Granted, her memories were skewed by her age and the pubescent fog that had settled over her brain the minute she’d turned twelve. She had been the queen of angst. But when she watched her sister and Jason, high school sweethearts, it all seemed so perfect. Of course, looking back, she could see that it wasn’t perfect at all. She’d heard her sister crying alone at night. She’d overheard Jason talking to his father about the “problem” he had with Meg.
At the time, Caroline didn’t know why Meg was crying. She didn’t know why there was a problem. All she knew was that when Jason and Meg broke up there was screaming and accusation, and Mr. Campbell had painted her sister as opportunistic and a slut.
The result was that Caroline had to leave the only home she’d ever known, and in her mind it was her sister’s fault.
Right before they moved off the Campbell estate, her father died. It was a massive heart attack. And all Caroline could see was that her life was in a shambles. She resented her sister, and she felt that way for a long time. She didn’t think about Jason’s role in the mess, or Mr. Campbell’s. All Caroline could do was turn inward and focus on what she’d lost. Her father, and her home.
Now, of course, she knew that Josh and Jason’s parents had been at the root of everything and that her father’s lifestyle and genetics had been behind his heart attack. But Meg and Caroline lost more than a few years to anger and sadness. It was a long time before they became close again.
And at times it was still a struggle because Meg couldn’t help being the bossy older sister. Jason tried to temper her, and at times he succeeded, but Caroline knew there was no way Meg could ever know her sister and Josh had slept together. Ever. This was something Caroline vowed she would take to her grave. Not only did Meg distrust Josh, but she was also way too overprotective of Caroline to accept her as an adult making her own choices.
Then her adolescent fantasy reemerged and Josh was right there. The last twelve hours were going to be with her forever and Caroline figured that was a blessing and a curse.
She’d always have the memory.
But on the flip side, nothing would ever be as good as that memory.
Josh was everything she’d expected with a few surprises thrown in. Confident, handsome and larger than life, he seemed like the guy he’d always been. But he wasn’t. The person she met last night—the one who ran interference so she didn’t have to make excuses to the guy harassing her, the one who liked pizza from a local pizzeria and who spent Friday night watching movies, the man who made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world—was exactly what she didn’t expect, but precisely who she needed.
* * *
The sun wasup when the car stopped in front of her building. The street was coming to life. People were out for a morning run, or to walk the dog, or to get the morning paper and a cup of coffee. Caroline was just getting home and everyone knew it.
When she walked into the apartment she smelled the coffee. Tessa was not a late sleeper, so Caroline was fairly sure she was about to be debriefed.
