AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Josh looked down and then trained his eyes on his sister-in-law. There was no doubt in his mind that Meg adored Caroline, but she didn’t understand her. And she did show her emotions; she showed them to him. “Well, she showed you today. You have to trust her, Meg. You just do.”
“Crap. Why do I always do this?” She walked to Jason, who folded her in his arms.
“You care about her, but Josh is right. We have to trust her. She didn’t go home with some random man in a bar. She went home with Josh. He’s practically a brother to her.”
That made Josh cringe. He’d been thinking about Caroline all day and his thoughts were anything but brotherly. No, his twitching dick wasn’t the result of brotherly thoughts at all.
* * *
Caroline decidedto walk the half mile from Penn Station to her apartment. It was a gorgeous day, sunny and a bit warm, and it was still early, barely four o’clock. So much for a day with her family.
Caroline wished she hadn’t run off, but once Josh walked in that pretty much sealed it for her. She was pissed at her sister, but she couldn’t bear to look at him. Not after what happened between them. She was such a wimp.
If she was ever going to have a relationship she had to stop letting every little thing scare her off. Josh never promised anything. Yet she acted like she’d been jilted at the altar. Awesome. In truth, she was embarrassed. Embarrassed about the way she acted with him, about her writing…
She hated that he was right. No one would take her work seriously unless she did. Why didn’t she tell the world what she was doing? Why did she care what people thought?
She stopped in her favorite Starbucks, the one with the adorable barista named Zack, who worked full time while he was going to NYU to get his MFA. He was nice and always took time to chat while he made her drink. He’d asked her out a couple of times in the past, but she’d been too nervous, so she always said no.
But when she walked in, Caroline didn’t see him and her heart sank a little. She loved talking to Zack and she was hoping that seeing him today might help her feel better. Like she wasn’t a complete failure at life. She walked to the counter to order and figured a mocha frappucino with lots of whipped cream could only improve her mood. When her drink was ready she took it to one of the tables outside and figured it was as good a time as any to start reading the book she’d just downloaded.
Maybe this feeling of failure with Josh was what Caroline had been avoiding all these years. She hated that she didn’t know how to separate her feelings from her actions. That she’d let Josh get to her.
“Caroline?”
“She looked up and there stood cute Zack. The sun was behind him and he looked like an angel sent to mend her wounded heart. Then a pretty red-haired woman stepped next to him and Caroline faced the fact that even in her daydreams, life had pretty much hit the skids.
They conversed for a few more minutes and she found out the woman was his new girlfriend and that she had just sold a series of three young adult novels to a big publisher. The buzz was that one was going to be optioned for a movie.Of course it was. The woman had a genuinely nice guy, she looked like a super model, and her career was soaring. Caroline couldn’t get assigned to a decent consulting project because of stalker Mark. And she was so turned around by a guy she couldn’t think straight.
Pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes, Caroline wondered when she was going to get her break.
“Hey! I thought you were on Long Island today!”
When she opened her eyes she saw Tessa approaching. She was weighed down with shopping bags, which meant one of two things was at play. Either she over-bought and half of the haul would go back, or she’d gotten a bonus at work and was splurging for a reason. She saw at least three shoe boxes among what Tessa was carrying, and it made her wonder how many shoes a woman really needed.
Caroline loved shoes, but it was a religious experience for Tessa. Fortunately, their apartment had two big bedrooms with big closets. A rarity in Manhattan. Tessa had one entire closet in her room for shoes.
Standing and tossing her cup in the trash, Caroline took one of her friend’s packages.
“So why are you sitting at a Starbucks on this lovely day looking like you lost your best friend? Weren’t you having dinner at your sister’s house?”
“I was, but Meg decided I don’t need to run my own life. It was ugly, then Josh came in and, well, it was better to come back to the city. I just didn’t need it, you know?”
Tessa’s eyebrows shot up at the mention of Josh’s name. Unlike Caroline’s family, Tessa knew the whole story about Josh. Thewholestory. She’d heard all of it over banana pancakes.
“I hear you. Sounds like you had a very Maneri afternoon. It wouldn’t be a Sunday if someone wasn’t pissed off.”
Of course, Tessa was exaggerating. She had this big, amazing, loud Italian family that Caroline always dreamed of they were warm and there was always so much laughter in Tessa’s house.
With her family it wasn’t the fighting. She could handle a fight. It was being made to feel like a second-class citizen, like she was their responsibility. Or worse, being treated like a child.
“I don’t know. I really don’t want to see them for a while.”
“You don’t mean that.” Tessa bumped Caroline’s shoulder with her own.
It wouldn’t be forever, but Caroline was done with the judgment and micromanaging. She really just wanted to be left alone.
The sunlight was a bit of natural happiness as the rays danced through the trees, dappling the sidewalk around them. Her neighborhood really was perfect for her. At least something was.
