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Most of the time, getting good sex meant he had to put up with dull chatter about the New York social scene. With Caroline it meant opening up, being honest and risking attachment. Josh didn’t think he was ready for that.
The thing was it was possible it was already too late. He felt different. He wanted to see her, talk to her, touch her, and while one half of his brain was telling him to let it go, the other half told him he couldn’t. He needed to see her. He needed to be with her again.
Josh was hoping that maybe this was a phase. Some kind of endorphin rush that he’d be able to work through. He might just need to get Caroline out of his system. He could take her out and see how that went. If nothing else he could talk about the project and then see if the attraction was there or if the other night was just a one-time thing.
He’d work it through and get everything between them under control.
Control. Right. If he’d learned anything it was that Caroline was not about control. On the surface, maybe she was. But on the inside, she was about the rush. The emotion. And for the life of him, he couldn’t understand how her family didn’t see all that passion. He didn’t understand how they couldn’t know her.
And he didn’t know how to handle the fact that he wanted to know her better.
7
Caroline was in her bed, under her covers, trying to forget about the drama at her sister’s house today. To keep her mind off the noise in her head, she decided to tweak a scene that she didn’t know how to fix.
Honestly, she didn’t know if she could fix anything about this book, much less about her life.
God, she had to get over herself. Maybe change wasn’t in the cards for her. Maybe settling into a steady, boring routine was the best she was going to do.
The soft buzz from her cell surprised her. Looking at the display she saw it was her sister, and Caroline really didn’t want to answer. But knowing Meg, she would just keep calling.
Laughing a little, because her sister never gave up on anything, she slid her finger across the screen.
“Hello?”
“Don’t hang up. I’m sorry.” The words burst out so quickly Caroline almost didn’t catch them. But then it sunk in.
Meg apologized. Caroline could count on one hand the number of times that had happened, and while it wasn’t very gracious, it felt like she’d won.
“Thanks,” she said quietly. “I appreciate that.”
“I shouldn’t have butted in about your life and I shouldn’t pick on your writing. I guess it’s just hard for me because I don’t feel like we’re close at all, Carly, and that’s all I want.” Meg drew a breath. “That’s why I snipe at you anytime I find out something new.”
Carly.That’s what her sister had called her when they were young, and Caroline felt the lump form in her throat. “I need you and Mom to trust me. I’m not stupid.”
“Oh, I know that. So does Mom. We just worry and before you say anything, I know we shouldn’t. I guess when we lost Dad, you took it so hard, so we’ve been overprotective since.”
This was the most contrite Meg had ever been. What happened after she left?
“I should feel lucky that people do worry about me.” That was the truth. A lot of her friends felt pretty abandoned by their families. That was never Caroline’s problem. “But don’t second-guess me all the time, okay?”
“I’ll try not to. If I do tell me to shut up.”
Caroline laughed. “Okay. Just remember you asked for it.”
The sisters laughed and Caroline felt her stomach settle. Things were far from perfect, but were families ever perfect?
“So, ah...” Meg began, “do you want to tell me what’s up with you and Josh?”
Shit. “What do you mean?” Oh, she can’t know; he wouldn’t have told them, would he?
“Caroline, after you left, he came into the kitchen and defended you. Like he seriously told me off.”
“He did?” Caroline’s heart started racing. He went to bat for her? Caroline never would have expected him to stick up for her. Never.
“He did. He told us how smart you are and how capable and how we should mind our own business. He even told me to butt out when I mentioned your sex life.”
“My sex life? Are you kidding me?” There was some humiliation right there. It was amazing, really. If there was a line, Meg found a way to cross it.
