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I jump out of bed and rush through the hallway because if anyone knows where Diesel is, it’s him. Once they’re done with their conversation, and Mom briefly walks away, I glance at my brother who’s looking more grown up with every passing day. Dad life is being good to him, which is nice to see.
“Hey,” I say, casually. I don’t know how to even start the conversation without him getting suspicious, but I go for it anyway. “I haven’t seen your stupid best friend around lately. Where’s he been?”
He looks at me incredulously. “Why do you care?”
I clear my throat, finding my courage. “Well, Maize needed him to help her yesterday and couldn’t get in touch with him, so I texted him this morning and got no reply too. Just wondering if he’s being his typical asshole self when a lady needs a hand. It wouldn’t be the first time.” A part of me feels guilty as hell for making up another story, but it’s the most believable thing I could come up with on the spot. Also, I can’t blow my cover.
Riley picks up his coffee cup and takes a sip. “He’s in Arizona seeing his kid, apparently.”
I glare at Riley, who laughs, but I’m almost certain I heard him wrong. “What’d you say?”
He shakes his head, grinning as if he’s about to tell me a hilarious story. “It’s a crazy story. Remember when I brought him to Vegas for his birthday?”
I nod, trying to keep a straight face, not wanting to react, but my temperature feels as if it’s rising. “What about it?”
“He hooked up with a chick while we were there, and her sister came to the ranch the other day and told him he had a kid. Showed proof or whatever. So yesterday he went to Phoenix to figure it all out. What a total fucking shitshow!” He continues laughing. “I’ve been joking with him about having baby fever since Zoey got pregnant. Who would’ve ever thought he’d actually have his own?”
I feel sick to my goddamn stomach, and I’m actually happy I haven’t had the chance to eat anything yet. Undoubtedly, it would’ve come up. My world feels like it’s spinning out of control.
Why the fuck wouldn’t Diesel tell me this? Why wouldn’t he share something so personal and intimate, something that will most definitely affect our current relationship? I spilled my heart to him, and this is what he does to me?
“You okay?” Riley looks at me, and I know I’ve gone pale.
“Yeah, I’m perfectly fine. Also, your friend’s a dumbass, so it doesn’t surprise me one bit he knocked someone up. That’s what he gets for sticking his dick in random pussy. Probably has a handful of other children out there too.”
Riley shrugs. “That’s what I said. He said he’d be back in two days. Wouldn’t shock me if he marries the girl and returns with a wife and a kid. He’d consider it doing the right thing, then they’ll probably have another right away.”
I really wish Riley would shut the hell up. “Gross.”
Mom walks back in the kitchen and looks back and forth between us. My emotions are unstable, so I take the opportunity to leave the room. “Gonna go shower,” I say, not giving them a second glance.
Scalding hot water actually sounds great right about now and will give me the privacy I need. I go to the bathroom, turn on the shower, and step inside after I undress. The streams pound against my skin as the tears roll down my cheeks. I lean against the wall, pissed at myself for falling so quick and hard.
Is that why Diesel didn’t tell me? Does he plan to come back with a wife, but more importantly, what does this mean for us? Our future? I let out a ragged sob, realizing that maybe we never had one to begin with. My broken heart almost felt whole, but now it’s shattering all over again.
I knew something wasn’t right when he didn’t answer my texts yesterday or send me one before he went to work this morning. In the end, I guess he got what he wanted, another mark on his bedpost with my name all over it. He’s officially at the top of my shit list, right above Nick.
Two days have passed since my world turned upside down, and I know Diesel’s supposed to return today. He still hasn’t responded to me, and I refuse to be the fool who reaches out again. I’m hurt that he didn’t feel like he could tell me what was going on in his life and left me hanging. Diesel’s lost my trust, and I’m not sure he’ll ever be able to get it back.
I go to work, and Kenzie immediately notices I’m in a bad mood.
“Oh shit,” she mumbles when I knock over a full bottle of beer, and it spills everywhere. George isn’t upset and laughs it off, but I soaked him.
