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“I’m so sorry,” I tell him. “I’m not myself today.”
“It’s okay, honey. Just get me another one quick.” He throws me a wink, and I do and don’t even charge him for the next one either. It’s the least I can do, considering his crotch will be wet for the next few hours.
“You okay?” Kenzie asks me when I walk into the office. “You’ve been acting weird for the past few days.” She looks at me concerned.
“Yeah, just a lot going through my head right now. Nick wants his money for the damage I did to his car. Like now. And I’m just not feeling like myself today.”
“I’ve heard Mercury’s in retrograde.” She laughs and glances down at the mood ring I’ve kept on my finger since Diesel gave it back to me.
I take it off and tuck it in my pocket. I’m pretty sure it’s broken anyway, considering it’s been stuck on the “in love” color for weeks. Or maybe I’m broken.
For the rest of my shift, I try to keep myself busy and clean every single nook and cranny I can while Kenzie works the bar top. Wednesdays are typically a slow night, but thankfully, the time passes by quickly.
After all the customers pay their tabs, Kenzie mops and wipes everything down as I finish counting the money and closing the drawers. “How’d you do tonight?” I ask her.
“Okay. Fifty bucks is better than zero because that’s what I walked in with.” She gives me a smile. “Becoming a stripper seems like a better gig every single day.”
“Your parents would murder you, and Grandma Bishop would turn your body into a rug.”
She chuckles, then shrugs. “Oh well. I’d be walking out with thousands right now.”
Now I’m laughing. “No, you wouldn’t. The guys around here are cheap. But becoming a nun seems like a real possibility these days, plus no bills. So there’s that.”
“Do you think nuns masturbate?” She’s grinning so wide, I can’t help the burst of laughter that escapes from me. She’s definitely put me in a better mood without even trying.
“Oh my God. I have no idea. Probably not. But then again, maybe?”
I grab the deposit bag, lock up, and we walk outside together. She follows me to the bank drop, and then we go our separate ways. On the whole drive home, all I can think about is Diesel and how it’s been radio silence between us. He has to know I’m concerned by my messages, and still, he doesn’t respond or give me reassurance on anything.
Bastard.
I pull into the driveway, then get out of my car. As I’m walking to the front door, a dark shadow comes toward me, and I immediately open my mouth to scream, but he comes into view as I retreat a step.
“I’m sorry, Rowan. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Diesel says softly, coming closer.
With all the pent-up frustration and anger from the past seventy-two hours, I close the gap between us and push him. He’s a marble statue compared to me and barely budges.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, defeated.
“You’re sorry for a lot of fucking things, aren’t you?” I glare at him, and he tilts his head, almost as if he’s confused. “Riley told me, dumbass.”
I’m brought back to eighth grade again when he denied me, but this is that on crack. Right now, I just want to go inside, shower off the night, and go to bed. I need to forget about him, about us, though I have a feeling it won’t be so easy.
“Can we talk at least?” he asks.
“Oh…” I sarcastically laugh. “Now you want to talk after blowing me off for two days? Wow, how convenient for you. Hmm, let me think about it. No.” I walk around him, but he grabs my hand, pulling me back toward him. His warmth sends swarms of butterflies through my body. My head’s saying no, but my body’s saying yes. I have to be strong, though. There’s no excuse for him ignoring me, regardless of the situation. I’d never do that to him, especially after the intimate moments and open conversations we’ve shared.
“Please, Row…” He drops down on his knees and begs.
I frown at his pitiful expression. “You do realize that if my dad comes out here, you’re gonna be a dead man, right?”
“It’s worth the risk to explain myself to you.”
I let out a sigh. “You’ve got ten minutes of my time, then that’s it. I’m leaving.”
He looks around, the porch light casting a warm glow on his face. Diesel stands, and I take a step back before he grabs my hand and leads me down one of the trails behind my parents’ house.
In the distance, there’s a clearing where a four-wheeler is parked. No wonder I didn’t see his truck. The moonlight splashes shadows on the ground, and the warm summer breeze brushes against my cheeks. I try to keep my attention from him and look up at the moon.
