AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My plan, as impromptu as it is, includes a multitude of options. I’d like to corner him, make him listen to me, but it’s not like I can trap the man against a tree and force him to stand there while I regurgitate my feelings. I know they will fall on deaf ears, but I just can’t close this chapter without him hearing me out.
I’m left turning in a circle, wondering where the hell he went after only walking a couple hundred yards into the woods. I know almost immediately that I’ve made a mistake. The thought of getting lost or worse, having to be rescued would be something I’d never live down after a team of Marines have to waste their time looking for me.
Stubbornly, I keep walking, but there are no sounds coming from camp. I’ve already made it too far, the thick trees drowning out any laughter or chatter that I could hear only minutes ago.
“Fuck,” I hiss when I trip over a fallen branch.
Silence surrounds me but it does nothing to calm my fears. I should’ve done some research. Are there bears in these woods? Mountain lions? Snakes?
I drop my eyes to my sneakers, just the thought of snakes making my skin crawl.
I rip my hand away from the tree, imagining some creepy crawling thing taking a bite at me.
“You’d never cut it as a Marine.”
I spin around, unsure if Alex somehow came up from behind me or what.
“You’re walking in circles.”
I don’t know if he can see the relief in my eyes at the sight of him. If he can, he doesn’t acknowledge it.
He seems even more agitated now, which is a feat, considering that the man has been simmering with barely held back rage nearly the entire trip.
“Alex, I—”
“You need to just let it go,” he interrupts. “Pretend it never happened.”
I could no sooner hold my breath until I died.
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
He takes a step closer, his boots soundless despite the layer of earthy debris under them.
He’s trembling with anger, but I don’t miss the quick sweep of his eyes from my gaze to my mouth before glaring back at me.
Deciding to go for broke, I take the last step separating us. Each ragged breath he takes brushes his shirt against mine, but he doesn’t move back. I may be a few inches taller than him, but this man isn’t the slightest bit intimidated by me. I’m glad because that’s not the face I’m trying to portray right now.
All he would have to do is pucker his lips and they’d brush mine, but he keeps his mouth in a flat, ever disappointed line.
“Is it your guilt?” I ask, swallowing when my words come out with a level of emotion I don’t think he’d be impressed with. “Is that what’s keeping us apart?”
He remains stubbornly silent. The man could easily tell me to fuck off and end this right now, but he doesn’t.
“Is it me? Am I not good enough for you?”
I hate the tremble in my jaw as I wait for him to answer. I’m not normally an overly emotional person, but there’s something about this man that pulls at my heart strings. Maybe it’s the fact that I know what’s coming, and also that I can’t imagine ever getting over it. My ex did a real number on me, but the pain of his fists have nothing on how losing this man is going to damage me.
“You want more than I can give,” he says, taking a step back.
Cold air swirls around me, and I step forward once again to close the distance he created, unwilling to just accept what he’s saying.
“I’ve given you space because I thought this was another part of your internal struggle,” I confess. “If it is, then it gives me hope. If it’s me, if I’m not enough for you, then I need to know. The hope is killing me. Thinking there’s still a chance that one day you’ll see what’s right in front of you is chipping away parts of me.”
My eyes flutter closed when Alex brushes his lips over mine, but in the next breath he’s gone.
“It isn’t about you,” he whispers. “But there’s still no hope.”
I don’t think I’ve ever been torn between emotions in my life. It’s no consolation that I’m not the reason the man doesn’t want to be with me. It doesn’t make watching him walk away any less painful.
It also doesn’t crush that hope he vows I shouldn’t have.
I have no idea why I can’t accept exactly what the man is saying, but I follow after him anyway, making it back to the edge of camp in less than ten minutes.
Alex is nowhere to be found, and I can’t help but think I did the wrong thing. Would I have had another opportunity to speak with him if I had walked separately? For someone who is adamant that there’s no hope, I know the man wouldn’t let me wander around the woods as the sky turns darker.
