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By the time we make it back to camp, it’s late afternoon, and the benefits of breakfast are long gone.
I’m smiling at the group of people putting together something to eat, but then my eyes land on Drake and the new tent he’s putting up. Of all the places he could’ve decided to set up, and he had to choose the spot not ten feet from mine.
Chapter 36
Drake
I do my best not to think about the way Alex frowned when he saw me setting up my tent.
I have no idea why I even borrowed one of the SUVs to head toward the closest town to buy a new tent. If Kincaid was willing to let me take the SUV, he probably would’ve let me drive it all the way back to Farmington, like I suggested to Ugly yesterday.
I’m not normally one to force my presence on people who make it very clear they don’t want me around, but for some reason, I drove an hour to buy the damn tent and an hour to return just to witness that man’s frown.
I didn’t exactly do it for him. I didn’t concern myself with what people would think or say if I didn’t come back. I wasn’t worried about their speculations of what may have happened in the tent last night that made me leave. I just couldn’t walk away from a chance to see him, to be close to him. I know when we get back to Farmington, he’s going to avoid the bar, and other than a chance meeting like that one day at Target, I’ll likely never see him again. He has to put himself in my path because chance encounters are very few and far between. I couldn’t stomach the thought of going a long time without seeing him, despite what him being near makes me feel.
I can’t blame Alex for my heart choosing to lock in on him. It’s not his fault I can’t seem to manage my own feelings. I hate that he doesn’t return them, but forcing someone to care never works out the way one would expect them to.
I drop my eyes the second I look up from finishing setting the tent up and see that Alex still hasn’t adjusted the irritation on his face. I know I’m close to pushing him too far because he’s not even concerned about hiding his reactions to me right now. He’s making it very clear he thought I was gone for good, which means he hasn’t spoken to anyone about me. He wasn’t concerned about where I was going when I left his tent first thing this morning and disappeared. It answers so many questions, but my heart doesn’t care. For some fucked-up reason, it’s still holding out hope, and I can only imagine what the fallout from the heartbreak is going to be.
I guess I should be grateful that he was asleep for my confessions last night. It somehow makes the rejection a little easier, less messy, than it would be if he heard them and looked me in the eye before telling me to fuck off.
Exhausted yet smiling faces trickle in from the hike almost everyone took. I hate that I missed it, but I know I wouldn’t have had the strength with as little sleep as I got last night. I can’t imagine anything more embarrassing than falling out in front of such a large group of fit, manly men.
Lunch looks to be campfire-cooked hot dogs and chips, but I decline since I grabbed a burger and fries before leaving the little town with the overpriced everything.
As the day continues, full of more avoidance, my annoyance grows. I’m irritated with myself more than anything. I’d been given the opportunity to leave. I doubt Kincaid would’ve filed charges on me if I hadn’t come back with the borrowed SUV. Yet, I made my purchase, stopped for a quick drive-thru lunch, and then headed right back to camp where I could not only be ignored but actively dodged and evaded.
If I walk in his direction, he turns his back to me. If we happen to stand at the same time, like we did when he was done with lunch and when I was getting up to grab a bottle of water, he sits down on the opposite side of the large circle formed by everyone, of course.
It’s childish and petty, and so is the attitude that’s threatening to bubble over from his behavior.
This takes place for several hours until Alex stands one last time, walking away from camp after saying something to Alyssa and Harley that’s too low for me to hear.
I wait, unable to keep from watching him disappear into the woods before standing and heading in a slightly different direction.
I pray no one is paying any attention to me as I walk away from the group.
