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“Yeah, but–”
“Okay. Great. Come on.” I grabbed my bag, putting all my things inside and went to my room, grabbing a second set of clothes. A few of my toiletries.
Cruz saw me coming and opened the door. I led the way. My mom came behind at a slower pace. I heard Cruz shutting the door. He would’ve locked it behind him, or I was hoping, but at this rate, I didn’t care. Getting out of here, getting her out of here was all I needed.
I was gasping for it like I was drowning.
Her presence, her demands, her emotional manipulation was starting to come over me like a blanket. The suffocation was real. The more I was around her, the weaker I got until it was easier to give her what she wanted, do what she wanted.
I was barely keeping it together once we got downstairs. Spotting Cruz’s truck, I knew I needed to play my part.
I turned, a forced smile on my face. I went over, hugged my mom. She stiffened at first before clasping me back. I tried to pull back, but she wouldn’t let me. I heard another sob as she buried her head in my neck. “Oh, Mara, honey. I’ve missed you so much. I only thought of you when I was in the hospital–”
“Did you call me? Did you call and leave a message, but didn’t say anything on it?” I stepped back, keeping my feelings suppressed and my face blank, but I had to know. Everything else needed to be shut down so she couldn’t read me. She couldn’t use anything she saw or felt to manipulate me or anyone at this rate.
She didn’t answer. Her mouth pressed into a line, and she looked up and to the right. That was her tell. She was searching for a lie. She had called me.
I shook my head. “Never mind. There’s your car. I’ll see you, Mom.”
“Wha–wait.”
“Here you go, ma’am.” He put her bag at her feet. Then, we were walking down the driveway. He was slightly behind me, blocking me a little.
“Mara!”
Her voice broke, and my resolve almost shattered at hearing that anguished emotion from her.
I slowed…
“No.” Cruz said it softly, touching the small of my back. “Keep going. You know you have to.”
I had no idea how he knew what to do, how to handle her. It was a lifeline and I was grabbing hold of it. My mom was shouting my name, but we kept going to his truck.
I got in the passenger door.
He went around, getting in, and I glanced over once. My mom had stopped at the driveway, her bag in her hand. Her mouth was hanging open. Her hands were in fists, but she looked utterly dejected. Another dent in my wall. She was my mother. I loved her, but I couldn’t let her in. If I did, she’d destroy me and get mad when I was broken, because I couldn’t give her any more, because she’d been the one to break me.
“Miles?” I looked at the house. The lights were off. “The others?”
“Miles got me upstairs. Had to go through the house, but he asked what was up. I had a feeling.”
“But–” My mind was still wheeling. “How did you know any of that?”
“Your voice was shaking. You told me you needed help. Mara, you don’t ever need anyone. Miles told me about the lady visiting you. I didn’t know who was up there, but if you could’ve got out, you would’ve. I guessed. I hope I was right?”
I was barely hearing him, still focused that she’d been at my apartment. My safe place.
“I have to move.”
“No, you don’t. You can’t run from someone like that.”
“How do you know?”
He didn’t answer, his jaw clenching. He jerked his head to the side, staring straight ahead as we drove back to the hockey house. “I just do.”
Right. No personal shit, except we were so far wading into personal shit.
“What’d you tell my roommates?”
“Told them that woman in your apartment wasn’t your mom, that she was a con woman.”
“What?”
“Told them we needed to get her out of there asap and I wasn’t sure if you wanted the cops called. Skylar was the one who said about the evacuation thing. Said she had a creepy uncle and they needed to pull that excuse a few times to get him out of their house.”
I couldn’t. I mean, I could, but I couldn’t because that was ingenious. What he told them, what Skylar thought of and now my mom had no idea where to go or who to turn to for allies. I groaned, thinking on that, because she couldn’t stay. I was so scared she’d get a motel room, shack up with a guy, and start stalking me around college. I could not have that. I would not have that.
