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“Mom–”
“That’s not the son I raised. You don’t tell people to leave others the ‘expletive’ alone. You don’t glare at them or treat them rudely. Do you hear me?”
“Mom.”
“I said, ‘Do you hear me?’ You know how I raised you. I need to hear that you know how I raised you.”
Like a general giving her orders. I almost smiled at that. “I hear you, Mom. You didn’t raise me to be like that.”
“If you see Sabrina, I’m not saying you need to be friends with her, but don’t be mean. She is not the one who caused the accident. You can’t be angry at her for being kind, for making Titi laugh. She’s not a bad girl.”
I grunted. “She called a friend of mine a cunt.”
She was quiet for a beat. “Again, I’m not saying you need to be friends with her. Everyone has some faults, but you, Cruz Corinthos Styles, you shine even brighter.”
“I still hate her, Mom.” Those words ripped out of me.
She drew in a sob from her end. “Don’t say that. She’s–”
“I hate her. And I’m tired of feeling guilty about hating her. She wasn’t good.”
“Everyone has good in them. She had struggles–”
“She tried to kill Titi. She wanted to hurt Burford. She thought she’d be the one to walk free–”
“Maybe she did.” My mom’s voice was wrangled, and I heard another low sob.
“What?” I stilled.
“Maybe she did, walk free. Maybe she did.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I know some don’t believe in them, but I saw a medium.”
I let out a curse. “What?”
“Yeah, but listen, Cruz. Your sister came through, and she’s sorry for what she did. The medium, and I believe her because she brought up specifics that even you don’t know about. Sissy talked about how in that moment, she was angry and she reacted. She didn’t think it through, but she said it all worked out how it was supposed to.”
“Titi was supposed to be paralyzed from the waist down? I’m sure Sarah would say that that was supposed to happen that way. Of course. I believe the medium too. That’s total typical Sarah right there.”
“Cruz.” Her voice dipped low. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
I wanted to hurl this phone into the ocean. Maybe it was karmic timing for Mara to be going through her healing process, but dammit. I would’ve loved to lose myself in her for an entire week. Stop the thoughts, stop the hurting. Stop the ghost of one particularly selfish bitch.
“It’s why I let Sabrina see Titi. The medium said that she was struggling, needed closure, and she was right.” She began sniffling again. I heard the sob through her voice. “Sabrina walked in, and she looked so wrecked. I could see it in her. It’s… It’s what I see in you too.”
“Mom, do not push me to go see some psychic. I don’t believe in that shit.”
“You don’t curse at your mother.”
My head jerked upright, from where I had folded down. “Sorry.”
“I’m not saying you need to see a medium, though I believe her, but it was very healing to connect to Sissy. She’s on the other side. The medium said that when the soul leaves the body, all the emotions and struggles we go through here, are left here. The soul goes to the other side and it’s in its most pure state. Sissy said she didn’t mean to hurt Titi, but she reacted and in that moment, she was tired of feeling and thinking all the negative and hateful things she did. She was explaining that it was like she was trapped in her own body. She didn’t want to think or do the things she did, but it’s like she couldn’t stop herself. She felt paralyzed inside herself at times. That’s what was coming through the medium, and–” She let out a deep sob. “I believe her, Cruz. I–my God, I do. Sissy would do something mean and I’d see a flash of remorse right after, but then her face would go blank. When you said she thought she’d walk free, how do we know that’s not what happened in the end? She’s free now. She’s still my baby. Maybe you hearing this, you can let go of some of your anger too?”
God. I felt so fucking raw. My voice grated out, “She hurt Titi. I can never forgive her for that.”
“Oh, baby. You carry so much anger, and I know. I know you. You tuck all that down, bury it, and go and you keep shining on the ice. I know you might not want to hear this, but Sarah had a message for you. Do you want to hear it? I won’t push it on you if you don’t want to hear it.”
A message? Through a medium? From my dead sister?
“I don’t think so, Mom.”
