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“Really? You think so?”
“She never raised us as prisoners,” Alden admonishes gently. “We weren’t there just to do her bidding. We are a family, free to make our own choices. She’s happy for me. It was her idea that I get out and start my own life, and she wasn’t at all grouchy and grudging when she said it. She gave us this wonderful gift of life and a family, and we’ll always have that. Always. No matter what job we’re doing or where we’re living. If you’re worried about getting left behind or left out, then yeah, it takes some getting used to, but I don’t regret a second of it, and I know you won’t either. You want to tattoo? Do it. You want to have friends? Make them. You want to learn what it means to love like crazy, to love someone so much that you ache with it, go half crazy with it, and feel like you’re going to lose your mind and burst with it—”
“That sounds horrible. Can I love just a regular amount like other people seem to do?”
Alden shakes his head. “We weren’t built to love that way. I know we’re not biologically related, but all of us are similar in a lot of ways. We learned how to love after learning how to be very unloved. We learned how to have trust and courage. It was a family love, and this kind of love is different, but it’s every bit as worth it.”
“It’s terrifying, and you’re no comfort.”
Rich, thick laughter bubbles up in Alden’s throat. “I know. It’s not a comfort. It’s supposed to feel more than a little uncomfortable. There’s always going to be a healthy level of fear that you feel because losing something this amazing could destroy you, but you learn to live with that too.” He reaches across the table and smacks me on the shoulder. “A dad? You’re going to be a dad? Holy shit, Ransom. You’ve always moved fast, but this has to set a new record. When he or she is born, and hopefully long before that, we’ll come and meet your special lady. The lady who stole your heart.”
“Stole? It hasn’t happened yet.”
Alden’s face says that’s the most absurd, entertaining, and ridiculous thing he’s heard in a long time. And his face really does say it all.
CHAPTER 17
Ayana
“You…you…you cheesing cheesewad of a cheesewit of a cheeseturd of a cheesehole!” I promised myself I’d start working on cussing less now that I’m going to be a mom, and I don’t want my baby to have a sailor’s mouth by the time he or she can walk and talk.
I also promised myself that if Ransom wasn’t gone for good, and if he came back, I’d be rational, and we’d talk again and figure things out. I had the club brothers run surveillance on his house, driving by every so often to alert me if he came back because I wasn’t going to camp out like some pathetic, lovelorn, forlorn, very sad, sad, just sad…well, I don’t even know what. I just wasn’t going to sit on his doorstep and wait around. I wasn’t going to wait around, period, because waiting would mean I thought he’d left for good and that I was moping, pining, and being all brokenhearted, diving straight back into all my old abandonment issues with a vengeance instead of thrusting on, moving on, carrying on, and being strong because I had to be strong.
When Bunny Man—who didn’t tell my dad what was going on because I asked him not to tell, and he felt like doing me a solid this one time after he dragged me out of Ransom’s house that night, embarrassing me beyond belief even if he thought it was the right thing to do—called me around four in the afternoon to say that Ransom had just returned, I headed straight over. I banged on the door with the fury of six million fists—alright, so maybe I just pounded hard and used my foot a little because I was and am seriously still fuming. And as soon as Ransom opened the door, looking as gorgeous as ever—damn him anyway because that shouldn’t be a thing when I’m this pissed off—I let him have it.
“Cheese doodle!” I snap, my chest heaving, my breath coming out in dragon fire pants. “You…you…you cheese doddle!”
“Uh, do you have something against cheese?” Ransom blinks his stormy gray eyes at me, clearly not understanding. “Is it a sudden thing, or have you always? If you don’t like it, I’ll never force it on you, but that would be sad because cheese is delicious. If it’s a milk thing or a meat thing, they make milkless cheese and cheese from nuts. Cheese is really a wonderful creation, so I’m not sure why you’re cheesing me right now. And why you’re cheezed. Or cheesed.”
