Page 26 of Toe the Line


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She turned away slightly, as if my words, which were meant to be kind, somehow hurt. I understood, though. I’d always had a special place in my heart for Noelle, but I held my feelings there too tightly, never allowing them to matriculate into real life. I never felt good enough for her and never wanted to hurt her in a way that might ruin our friendship, which was more important to me than anything in the world. I had so few people in my life I could depend on, and she was at the top of that list.

Things would always be complicated between us, though—because of the decisions I made that one summer, because of my own inability to resist temptation. If only it didn’t still feel like yesterday.

CHAPTER 10

ARCHIE

PAST

THE SUMMER WAS going by way too fast. I couldn’t believe it was already the middle of July. The internship had turned out to be great, despite my dreading it in the beginning. I learned a lot from Rodney, who had way more patience with me than my father did. Rodney would have me sit in on his client meetings and then discuss them with me after to see what questions I had about his process. He never made me feel stupid for asking too many questions.

I hadn’t seen much of Bree lately and had been spending more time with Noelle. I really enjoyed Noelle’s company, and I could always be myself around her. The vibe this summer had been unexpectedly perfect, and I didn’t want anything to ruin it. And that included a girl I’d been seeing back in California who I’d promised could come visit me on Whaite’s Island. That plan no longer seemed to fit with my current routine.

When Heidi called to tell me she was making arrangements to fly out at the end of the month, I knew I had to break the news as gently as possible.

“Hey, so I was thinking…” I said. “It’s probably better if you don’t come. Things aren’t great with my parents. And the house is a bit crowded.”

That was partly true.

“Are you serious?” She sounded pissed.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t think it’s a good idea anymore.”

“I don’t even know what to say. I was really looking forward to it.” She paused. “Have you been seeing someone there? Is that what this is about?”

“Do you really want to know? I thought we agreed not to talk about that stuff.”

“You know what? Forget I called. Forget the whole thing, Archie.”

“Look, I’m really—”

She hung up on me. Wow. I’d expected her to be mad, but I didn’t think she’d react that badly. I probably deserved it, though.

“Who was supposed to come?”

I turned to find Noelle standing at the entrance to my room. She’d overheard. I couldn’t lie to her, even if this made me look like an asshole.

“That was…Heidi.”

“Heidi?”

“Yeah. She’s a friend from school.”

“A friend, huh? She was supposed to stay with us?”

“She’s someone I was seeing this past semester,” I admitted. “Before I left, I stupidly mentioned that if she wanted to come hang out for a week, that’d be cool. But I’ve thought better of it since. It doesn’t seem like the right decision anymore.”

Noelle pursed her lips, looking like she had something to say.

I let out a nervous laugh. “You have thoughts. I can tell.”

“Nothing.” She plopped down on my bed. “I just don’t know how you do it.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Do what?”

“Manage it all—a side piece here, a girl waiting in the wings back in California.”

“They’re not my girlfriends.”

“I know. But it’s still…work. Isn’t it?”

“You are so judging me right now, Benedict.”

“I’m not.” She chuckled. “I swear. It’s just curiosity.”

She had me pegged as a gigolo. “You want to know the truth?”

“What?”

“I didn’t want her to come because lately I’ve really liked just hanging out with you. If she came, she’d disrupt that.”

She proceeded to blow off my answer. “Yeah, right.”

My eyes met hers. “I’m serious, Noelle.” What the fuck are you doing? I needed to backtrack because it was starting to sound like I was insinuating something. Am I? “It’s, like, no pressure when I’m with you. I don’t have to worry about what I say, what I look like…what I smell like.”

Her tone was bitter. “No one to impress. I get it.”

“That’s not what I meant. I just mean I’m comfortable. And I’m loving this summer because of it. I don’t want anything messing with that. Heidi would’ve definitely disturbed the peace.”

Her expression softened. “I like hanging out with you, too. If you’d told me that before I came here, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“Not sure if that’s a compliment or not.”

“It is.” Her cheeks turned pink.

That reaction reminded me that I needed to be careful. If Noelle started to catch feelings, I was going to be in trouble. I didn’t want to ruin what I had with her. So I created a distraction by bringing up the most depressing subject I could think of. I’d been talking a lot about it with Noelle lately, so it wasn’t totally out of left field.

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