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When she found out my situation, Veronique begged me to tell her the full story to take her mind off things. Recalling everything for an unbiased stranger turned out to be therapeutic for me as well.
I told her the whole story of the first and only summer Archie and I spent together, and I’d just gotten to the point when everything came to an abrupt end—the moment we found out Archer Remington had died.
Veronique leaned in. “So what happened after that?”
“It was surreal. Archie and I jumped into my parents’ car and met everyone at the hospital, where his dad was lying there dead.” I shook my head. “Archer was such a powerful man. It was hard to believe he was gone.” I looked away. “The worst part was knowing what it would do to Archie.”
“The guilt?”
I nodded. “I knew in my heart that it was the beginning of a really tough road for him. He and his father had never gotten along. But deep down he loved his dad, despite all the strife. All I wanted was to be able to help him. I remember offering to go back to California with him and his mom for a while, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He insisted I couldn’t miss school. My parents and I did fly out to California with them and stayed for the wake and funeral.” I shut my eyes. “The sad thing? That speech he’d written about his dad? It became the eulogy. When he delivered it in front of all of those people, he pretty much read straight from the paper, only looking up a few times. And when he did? He only looked at me. No one else.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
“Wow,” she breathed. “And then after that, you had to leave…”
“Yeah.” Emotion swelled my throat. “I had to start classes. I’d already missed my first day at BU to be there for the funeral. Those first few weeks of college were a blur. Archie was on my mind almost every moment of every single day.”
Veronique ran her hand along the stem of her glass. “Did he go back to school after that?”
“No. He took more than a year off to look after his mom. She’d insisted he go back for his last year, but he refused. He’d gone from preparing for law school to not knowing what the future held. Eventually, he transferred to a school closer to home for his senior year.”
“Did you ever visit him?”
“The summer after freshman year, yeah.”
“Did anything happen between the two of you?”
Now we were getting to a sore spot. I took a sip of my wine. “We emailed back and forth, but we never brought up the subject of us. Then during my trip out there, a year after his dad died, Archie apologized for everything that had happened—or hadn’t happened—between us. He wanted to make sure I knew that all he could be to me was a friend. He said I shouldn’t wait for him for any reason.”
“Were you…waiting?” she asked.
I exhaled. “Yeah. I think I was. I was holding out hope. And I was heartbroken that he’d closed the door on us. If he hadn’t told me to move on, I might’ve waited forever.”
“Do you think he was really uninterested, or was it just…life at the time?”
I looked at the flames dancing in the fireplace in a corner of the bar. “I think he was overwhelmed. The thought of owing me something or having to worry about me wanting to pick up where we’d left off was too much pressure. Once he clarified things, we became closer than ever—without the added pressure of a romantic relationship.”
Veronique tilted her head, the light from the fire reflecting in her hazel eyes. “Really… I find that odd.”
I nodded. “Strange, isn’t it? After that, Archie emailed me even more, kept me apprised of everything. It was a surreal time for him. He had responsibilities he’d never anticipated. And I was happy to be there for him.” I took a breath. “After my summer visit when Archie put me permanently in the friend zone, I met Shane—my first boyfriend, I guess you could say. We were together for several years but broke up fairly recently—earlier this year.”
“I see.” Veronique nodded slowly. “And by that time…Archie was with this woman he’s marrying.”
“Exactly.”
“Do you think Archie would’ve changed his mind about the two of you if you hadn’t been with Shane all those years?”
My heart felt heavy. “When Archie and I were last together at the house on Whaite’s Island—this past August to prepare it for sale—I got the impression that some of those old feelings were still there. We were drunk one night, and he alluded to waiting for me to break up with Shane. That confused me. It made me wonder if he’d pushed me away for my own good and not because he didn’t have feelings for me.” Looking over at the fire again, I added, “Anyway, it’s all a moot point now, isn’t it? Considering the reason I’m here in Sonoma.”
