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Is Shane still behaving? I don’t need to get on a plane anytime soon, do I? Which reminds me… God, I miss you. Do you think you’d be able to come out here for a visit? It’s no big deal if you can’t. I just figured I’d ask. I’d love to see you. It sucks that I can’t leave Mom long enough to take a trip out east. I would if I could. Please know that.
Speaking of Mom, she isn’t doing well. Her memory just keeps getting worse and worse. At least I’m getting help. The home health aides are awesome. I couldn’t do it alone. And I couldn’t do any of it without being able to vent to you, either.
Also…Fallon and I broke up. That whole thing went on way longer than it should’ve. She wanted more from me than I could give right now. There isn’t much more to it than that.
Write back soon.
xo
Archie
My hand shook a little as I moved the cursor down to my response, still angry at myself for being so self-absorbed that summer.
Archie,
Holy crap! Culinary school. That’s a huge deal. I’m so happy you decided to bite the bullet. It’s what you’ve always wanted to do, and I, for one, cannot wait to reap the benefits of that! So proud of you.
I’m sorry about your mom not doing well. You’re doing the best you can, and I hope you realize that. I will continue to pray for her.
Okay…wow on Fallon. It was about a year you guys were together, right? I’m not saying this to be funny, but that was the longest relationship you’ve ever had, yes? Anyway, I’m sorry to hear that you decided to end it. But you know what you need right now, and it doesn’t make any sense to waste someone’s time if you can’t give them what they need as well.
And I miss you, too. I wish I could come out there. But I just found out I got an internship at ABC News. It’s full time, and I won’t have the ability to travel for a while. I’m so sorry. Maybe I can work something out in the fall or winter? We’ll make it happen.
I’ll be in touch soon!
xo
Noelle
I stared at that email, wondering what might have happened if I hadn’t been with Shane, hadn’t gotten that internship, and had instead gone out to spend some of that summer with Archie. I’d never know.
I moved on to some of the more recent emails. There was one from earlier this year where I’d told him about my breakup with Shane. Archie had already gotten involved with Mariah by then, but I’d yet to meet her.
Hey Archie,
Good news—or I’m hoping it is. I’ve been assigned to do a story out in California. I was hoping we could meet up, at least for dinner, while I’m there. It feels like forever since I’ve seen you. I’ll email you dates as soon as I have them.
How’s your mom doing? Are you still getting the help you need while you’re working at the restaurant?
Also…are you ready for this? Shane and I broke up. It’s a long story. I’ll tell you more about it when I see you.
xo
Noelle
I scrolled down to his response.
Noelle,
Holy crap. Was not expecting that news about you and Shane. I’d assumed you’d be with him forever. What was it, like five years? What the hell happened? I think this one might warrant a phone call. And you KNOW how much I hate talking on the phone.
But…you’re coming out here? That’s fucking awesome!! Just let me know when, and I’ll make sure to take the appropriate time off. I guess you can finally meet Mariah. She’s been curious about you. I’m sure you can read between the lines of that one. It’ll be good for her to meet you, though.
Thanks for asking about Mom. Things have been the same for a while now. But I consider stable a good thing, and I do still have some help.
If you want to talk, I’m here. I’m curious about what happened. I can’t wait to see you.
xo,
Archie
That was the last email I’d saved.
The trip out to California had ended up being hard, particularly meeting Mariah, who was beautiful and smart and all the things I’d hoped she wouldn’t be. Yeah, that trip was painful. But not as painful as tomorrow would be.
CHAPTER 17
NOELLE
PRESENT
I’D NEVER COUNTED so much in my life. Who knew that simple counting could be a coping mechanism? I counted through almost the entire ceremony, stopping at a hundred and starting from the beginning again.
Somehow, I’d made it to Archie and Mariah’s reception without truly feeling anything. One thing I had going for me? I looked good, if I did say so myself. I’d chosen a pink Oscar de la Renta floral lace minidress for the occasion. It was covered in embroidered daisies that popped off the dress in 3D. It was the ultimate everything-is-just-dandy statement.
