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There wasn’t a simple answer. I tried to explain. “It’s not that he can’t. It’s more his choice. That’s a bit of an issue I have with Jason. But, in general, I’m with him because it’s always felt safe. There are some good things about being with someone who can’t break your heart because…” My words trailed off.
“Because your heart belongs to someone else,” Roz finished.
I said nothing. I probably didn’t have to.
She slapped her hand on the table. “This is one juicy story—better than any Turkish drama I might turn on in the middle of the day with my lunch.”
“Happy to be your entertainment.”
She shook her head. “You’re secretly in love with the man who wants to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. Think about that.”
“Wants to give me everything except…himself,” I corrected.
“And you won’t tell him how you’ve felt all this time?”
“He said he doesn’t want to get married again. So he’s not in a place to be what I need.”
“But how do you know he wouldn’t make an exception for you? He’s basing what he says on the fact that he thinks he can’t have you.” She tilted her head. “What if Jason wasn’t in the way? Maybe Archie would feel differently—less likely to need to protect his own heart.”
My body tightened in an attempt to shove away the false hope. “I know he cares about me, Roz. But there’s always this fear that he’s going to shatter my heart. The thing is, as much as he inadvertently hurt me by not choosing me…Archie is still the best thing in my life. I think he would tell you I’m just as special to him. That’s precisely why he won’t go there with me. He won’t take that step. Archie has always used me as sort of a crutch. He assumes I’ll be there. He values me as a friend and a sounding board, even if there’s some attraction there.” I looked away. “I’m the one who’s been in love with him all this time.”
She rolled her eyes. “You don’t offer to father a baby for a woman you don’t love. Maybe it happens from time to time with truly platonic people. But your history with Archie, my dear, is far from platonic. He is in no place in his life right now to be having another baby. He’s got his hands full. He wouldn’t be doing this unless he loved you—whether he knows it or not. Maybe he doesn’t realize it yet.” She sipped her tea. “But I do.”
I willed my heart to slow down. “Well, Roz, it’s nice that you feel that way, but unless that sentiment is coming from him, I have to take it with a grain of salt.”
She offered a sympathetic smile. “I get that, honey. But if you do dump that old sugar daddy, Jason, can you send him my way? Menopause Roz hasn’t had action in a long time.” She winked. “Nobody’s gotta worry about impregnating me.”
I cracked up. Laughter was truly medicine.
CHAPTER 26
ARCHIE
I’D BEEN A jumble of nerves since I woke up this morning. For weeks now I’d been both waiting for and dreading today.
I was supposed to pick Noelle up at 1 PM so we could go in and get the results of the pregnancy test after our second IUI attempt. But just as I was getting ready to leave, Clancy’s school called.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Mr. Remington?”
“Yes.”
“Clancy’s not feeling well, and unfortunately, she’s been throwing up this afternoon. It’s happened twice. We need you to come pick her up.”
“Shit,” I muttered.
“Is that going to be a problem?”
I scratched my head. “Uh, no. I’m sorry. I was just leaving for an important appointment this afternoon, and I wasn’t expecting this.” I shook my head. “No worries, though. That’s not your problem. I’ll come get her.”
“We appreciate that.”
Mariah was in the middle of a shift at the hospital, so that left me no choice. Reluctantly, I dialed Noelle.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Hi…listen, I have some crappy news. Clancy is sick at school, and they want me to come get her right now. She’s throwing up. I don’t think I’m going to be able to take you to the appointment.”
“Oh…” She paused. “Okay. Well, gosh, what can you do, right? No worries. I’ll call an Uber and get myself over there.”
I let out a long breath into the phone. “I really wish I could come with you.”
“There are some things we can’t control. Please don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”
“I feel like a shitty partner in this right now.”
“Archie, go get your daughter and don’t worry about it. And whatever you do, don’t bring that stomach bug near me.” She laughed.
“Yeah, that’s another thing. Probably means I won’t be able to see you for at least a couple of days until I can figure out what’s going on with her. Hopefully, it’ll be a quick virus. Sometimes they go away within twenty-four hours. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”
