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Anytime we had gone to networking events, I’d been on my best behavior. Anything he asked of me, I did… for him. The only thing was my late nights at work — he decided my foolish hours meant that I was being whisked away by a co-worker. His mindset couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, I’d never even thought of any other guy, my mind was always filled with new articles, research, the latest deadline. I couldn’t blow away all this hard work, and Robbie could make that possible. It was already so hard to get a writing gig in Manhattan, even one as small as the City Times. Still, my worth was growing, a necessary stepping-stone like so many others, like those who have left City Times and made it to my dream job: New York Prestige. That could be me, it almost was.
But, tonight, I dove off a cliff and fell into Nathan’s warm embrace, and for what, to feel like Eve, a free spirit who has no consequences? She had none because she’s not in any serious relationship. But I did have consequences to think about, yet my dumb ass was determined to sprint out of my comfort zone.
How could one kiss be more romantic than my entire relationship with Robbie? My heart sank at the realization, the void that filled my life. Like a tired loop, I replayed the kiss over in my head. The touch. The press of Nathan’s lips on mine. The smell and taste. However, the potential torment I’d be bringing to Robbie was unfathomable, no matter how badly he’d treated me, I would never reciprocate such a feeling.
By the time Eve dropped us off at Dad’s, it was roughly one in the morning, and my miserable face was transparent. Could I hide this away from my dad? He’d be disappointed that was for damn sure, and the lectures, ugh, I anticipated them.
I knocked on his cherry red door, ringing the doorbell when Robbie passive aggressively sighed loudly. The dark interior began to glow as lights from inside turned on one by one. Eventually, the porch light popped on, blinding my squinted drunk eyes. Dad’s face peeked out from the navy curtains. He looked like a mole disturbed from its slumber, blinking wildly to shake off the apparent dream of me at his door.
I waved, smiling nervously as the door clicked open. “Dad,” I squeaked excitedly, my eyes squinted a tad. “So sorry to surprise you like this. I just got in. Well, this morning.” I rambled on, but he pulled me into one of his massive bear hugs, and I melted away into a safe space.
“This is your home, hon. You show up at any time you want.” He paused, pulling away to give Robbie a once over with his narrow eyes. “Come on in, it’s cold out.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’ll get settled into my room with Robbie.” Dejected, Dad sighed as he regrettably walked us upstairs and through the hallway. Probably over the fact that Robbie was here with me. I don’t blame him, I wished he wasn’t here either.
Everything was still the same, the black framed school photos of me, my parents’ wedding photo. Even one of Dad, Eve, and I having a picnic at the fire station; we were only ten at the time.
“I don’t like it.” Dad crossed his hefty arms across his chest. He’s a tall and wide man, super bulky.
“Like what, Dad?”
“Both of you together,” he stated so matter of fact with his angry bushy brows, pointing at us.
“Seriously? We’re about to get married next week.” I said. Robbie scoffed, rolling his eyes at my dad.
“Can’t get rid of me that easy, Mike.” Robbie patted Dad’s shoulder. “I’ll be with Julia forever, just saying. So we might as well start pretending to like one another.” Robbie shrugged and walked past us. All I could do was roll my eyes. Dad was destined to hate any man I’d bring home, whether it was Robbie, or if things were different, Nathan. Actually, I believed him and Nathan would get along. There was something about him, a caring nature. Perhaps it was his smile, or those warm eyes.
I mouthed to my dad, “Sorry.”
He wasn’t buying it. He leaned in to whisper, “If he does anything to you, I’ll fucking kill him with my bare hands.” He stated, delivering a mean stare that followed Robbie. My father wasn’t violent or mean, but against Robbie he would have no problem serving time. I knew he was on his best behavior for my sake, and I loved him for that.
“Things are ok, Dad. I’m just really tired. Can we talk in the morning?” I rubbed my red eyes.
“Sure thing.” He kissed my forehead, and I headed toward my bedroom. I discovered Robbie hitting my little heater violently. The damn thing wasn’t the best, but he was banging on it, much like you would a vending machine that just ate your quarters.
“I’ll handle the heat, Robbie. Go get ready for bed, I’m tired and just need to shower ASAP.”
“You’ll handle the heat, really?” Smug bastard always insinuated something.
“Well yeah, this was my bedroom for almost two decades. Can we not fight right now? I’m exhausted, my hair smells like puke…” I pointed at the dirty chucks in my hair.
“You’ve got nobody to blame but yourself for that,” he interrupted me to make me feel the size of an ant. Actually, even smaller than an ant, more like a non-existent disgusting speck that floated around the corner of his vision. Unfortunately, it was nothing new these days.
I’d had it with him, tonight at least. The sight of him made my heart bitter, knowing how he now sabotaged my weekend away with his looming presence. I couldn’t help but snap, for his constant need to provoke was now matched with my need to sleep.
“Robbie, why the fuck are you even here?” I ordered. I threw my fists down to my sides as I snapped. He arched an eyebrow at my hissing response. He stopped unbuttoning his shirt, his undivided attention on me.
“I’m here to be with you. I took time off work, for you.” He uttered in a stern voice.
“This was supposed to be my time with my family.” My empty hand faced the door presenting as if there was something to show.
“Right.” He shook his head as he scoffed. “Not to be drunk hanging out with strangers? Say, I didn’t see your dad at the bar, but Eve sure was having the time of her life with that fucking idiot in the corner, as if she was some teenager.” I may have been drunk in this moment, but his scowling words angered me. No, they infuriated me, because not only had he put me down, but my best friend as well. “And what about your ring? The one you begged for? I don’t see it on your finger.”
Damn it, if he noticed that, could he have also noticed Nathan and me? We were hidden in the opposite corner, while Eve and Willie were closer to the entrance of the bar. Shit. I gulped, hoping my transparent eyes wouldn’t give me up.
“I took it off when I got sick, I didn’t want to get it dirty.” It was the best that I could do. I let out a large sigh that took my entire breath away. “Never mind.” I pulled the sheets back and threw on a few blankets over our comforter. “Let’s just get some sleep. I rather not get into anything while I’m hardly mentally present.”
“How convenient. Look what a mess you are. What would Mitchell think at work? He would never trust someone that would behave like this. You’re lucky I don’t say anything.” Robbie stayed silent after his last words, ignoring me as he switched out of his clothes and into his favorite silk pajamas. His words terrified me, and I couldn’t imagine losing everything. I didn’t fight, I said nothing at all, instead, I made my way toward the bathroom, ready to burst into tears as my throat tightened.
