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I choked as the DJ asked the guests to take their seats, announcing Eve and I to the dance floor. I couldn’t believe it. I shook my head as I saw Dad’s face light up. Fuck. Why would they bring this up, after all these years? The stupid dance!
Couldn’t Eve get the hint? I wanted nothing more than to disappear, to hijack a firetruck and drive through the garage. After my third glass of wine, the idea didn’t seem half ridiculous.
Dad came to sit with us, a huge smile on his face as he chuckled. “Dad, did you do this?”
“Of course, it’s tradition. We haven’t seen you both together in years.” Dad nodded me on, waving me into the hands of my new sworn enemy. I couldn’t blame him, though, he was none the wiser over everything that had been happening. It wasn’t exactly the thing you bring up during dinner, either.
Eve and I stepped toward one another on the dance floor. My glare could have scorched her black evening gown into burning ashes, and I wished it would. My anger bubbled in my stomach.
Muscle memory, don’t fail me now.
“Hands up, Eve…” I scolded her quietly the moment the music began. She complied quickly as our palms met together. We took our first steps, my eyes unblinking with a disapproving glare. Our waltz barely began before Eve opened her big mouth.
“Julia, please forgive me.” She begged as if she was the innocent victim in this. “I swear to you I never meant to hurt you. I was drunk and wasn’t thinking! We both were. What can I do? Tell me, anything!”
“Stop…” I interrupted her. “Just stop. Keep dancing so we can get this shit over with, because I don’t want to see you again.” I smiled as fake as possible over the unknowing cheering crowd.
“I tried to cover for you, you know with Robbie. He demanded to know where you were, because he thought you were messing around, but I told him you were with me at my house.”
“I never asked you to lie for me. I can take care of myself, just like I have been.”
“I know you can take care of yourself, but I know in my heart of hearts you would have done it for me.” That was true, then again, I’d done a lot for her during our time as sisters, or best friends, or whatever the fuck we were now.
The tempo of the music quickened and as we danced in circles. A few audience members whistled, howled, and screamed over how we twirled one another, tapped our heels on the floor, only to halt and join up again hand in hand. Even Willie was up from his seat, applauding Eve.
I caught Eve following my gaze. “Jules, he’s amazing. He’s the one man I can actually tolerate, better yet that can tolerate my crazy ass. I want to tell you everything just like before. I love you.”
I tried to conceal my automated expression, my goofy enthusiasm when we talked boys. I buried it though, along with the sadness I felt without her. Another resolution for Eve? Another happy ending? After what she did to me, and how our relationship has been all about her for so long. I didn’t think so.
“That’s great for you… You two are a match made in fucked up hell. Both of you are crazy, I even heard that Willie has a drinking problem.” I shared bluntly. It wasn’t gossip if it was the truth.
Although still on beat, Eve’s shocked expression could be felt through our hands as she squeezed mine. “Willie doesn’t have a drinking problem, what the hell are you talking about?
“Well, it seems pretty bad if Nathan can’t even have booze in his own house, because his friend will go nuts. Wouldn’t you say?” It was clear from her wide eyes and disapproving nod she was in disbelief. Before she could utter another word, I continued. “All I’m saying is don’t be surprised if Willie is hiding secrets from you. Then again, maybe you’d be able to figure it out since you’re such an expert.” I sneered, tapping my feet on the floor, wrapping my hand around my waist, one hand in the air to dance.
“I really want to clear things up between us, Julia. I’m really trying. Tell me what you want me to do because you ignoring me isn’t helping… neither is talking shit about my boyfriend.” Her tone switched from concerned best friend begging to be forgiven, to a more subtle agitated tone as she narrowed her eyes on me.
“No!” I screamed at her, stopping mid-dance. The crowd silenced their hollering. The spotlight felt like fire, pinpointing me as I broke away from our gripping hands. “You’ve done enough, don’t you think?” I flailed my hands in the air, shouting at the top of my lungs. “Fucking my boyfriend and getting rid of the evidence? You disgust me. I shouldn’t have to tell you how to apologize to me. Truth is, there is no way to apologize for what you’ve done.”
The audience gasped as I stood in silence. Dad’s face was completely shocked. His expression gutted, displaying the hurt that matched my pain. Eve’s eyes glossed over as she stared at her parents and Willie. Her trembling lip and pooling lids were all too much, causing me to turn away to leave, but Eve snapped back.
“You’d forgive him,” her shrill screech echoed loudly, even louder as she pointed at Robbie’s guilty face. “But I’m not good enough to forgive? I’ve been there for you all of these fucking years.” She shouted, pointing at her bare chest bone, dotting it red with a harsh continuous jab. “He’s done nothing but hurt you every single day.” Tears streamed down her heated cheeks. “You’re so fucking blind you can’t even see that you’re his fucking puppet. Like…” her voice shook in anger, and she seemed distraught over seeing him. This entire time she had hated Robbie and now I knew why, “…You are his little plaything that he gets to torment without any consequence.”
Puppet? Did she just say that? I inhaled deeply and took a breath out to calm my shaking nerves. “You’ll never understand, Eve. It’s not like you can even stick to one man ever. Nobody will ever learn to love you, the only thing you know how to do is spread your legs like a fucking slut. And that’s all you’ll ever be, a lying whore stuck in a shit town.”
The words spilled out of my lips like a stream of conscious filth. I regretted it immediately, feeling sick at my own smearing words.
Growing up, we’re quickly taught to control our emotions. Keep your tears in, anger should never be flashed, stay quiet in your room; however, our words… not so much. By this point, Willie stood by Eve’s side, holding her shaking shoulders, helping her off the floor. He looked at her with tenderness, whispering something as they walked away. He never once acknowledged me, not even for the sake of a hateful glare.
Dad walked me back to my chair. His big hands consoled me, as he quietly hushed my whimpers. I couldn’t believe what I did, the things I said before him and others. This was a charity ball for fuck sake and all I could do was selfishly place the attention on my problems. My stomach knotted into a nauseous wave of nerves. I embarrassed my dad. My chest felt weightless as the weight shifted into my heavy throbbing temple. He whispered in my ear, “I don’t know what happened, I don’t like it, but this isn’t how we handle it.” Dad rubbed my shoulder softly. “We’ll talk about this later, sweetie.” I nodded.
Robbie was nowhere in sight as I sat alone at the table. I was riddled with embarrassment and was afraid to look around. My blush melted along my neck and chest, leaving me bright red and humiliated.
That entire scene seemed fake, like it didn’t happen, but by the look of everyone’s shocked faces around me, I was certain that the gossip was already spreading.
I sunk into my seat, doing my best to minimize my size as much as possible. I peered around, looking for Robbie. That’s when I heard it. A thunderous crack, followed by loud gasps. I shot up from my seat, witnessing the thud of Robbie’s body dropping to the floor. His nose was like a faucet, leaking the staining red blood that shot across his suit.
19
