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“I don’t know, sir. I didn’t see him in there, all I could focus on was Julia. I tried to go back, but… it was too late.” A part of me felt disappointed, even though I hated Robbie, I still had the decency to save a life.
“Whatever happened to that idiot, I’m glad you rescued my daughter.” He paused, seemingly lost in thought as he stared off into Julia’s emotionless face.
The silence didn’t feel right, and I knew I had to make amends. The chief had to know my truest intentions, my truest feelings. This scared me more than any burning house.
“I’m sorry for earlier, sir, but how I feel is true.” I couldn’t look him in the eye, I only gazed over Julia. “It may seem crazy, and you may not understand, but I love your daughter, and nothing will ever change that.”
Chief smiled softly, placing his hand over mine and Julia’s, “I believe that, Manning.” He nodded sternly. “You’re a good man with a good heart. You’ll always have my blessings.”
His affirmation made me smile, a small consolation towards my worried heart. I couldn’t lose her; I couldn’t handle another loss like Emma. I leaned over to whisper softly.
“I’m here for you, Julia. I’ll always be here.” My voice cracked, struggling at the task to swallow between words. “Please don’t let me go.”
I’d never prayed, but I would just for her, if only it meant to hear her speak one last time. All I could do was kiss her forehead and beg the universe for more time. Though brief, an impossible sensation emerged, the slightest squeeze from Julia’s hand in mine. My fingers twitched, as I leaned in closer.
Her lips moved slowly, the words falling out within her mask as she smiled, “Nathan, I’m finally free.”
22
Nathan
Julia stayed in the hospital a few days for observation. Seeing her throaty cough dissolve into a quiet tickle was a huge relief for my restless nights. She would always hide her face upon my entrance, embarrassed by her lack of makeup. I never cared, and instead told her the truth, that she looked more beautiful than ever. Her glowing cheeks brought me back to life, along with her laughing smile which I missed so much.
All of station seventeen made their rounds, taking shifts to come visit Julia. Each guest would bring a gift, covering her room with flowers. The nursing staff became concerned as they swatted the mass of mylar balloons that bopped them upon entering Julia’s room.
There was only one thing I wanted to give her though, which was tucked in a plastic bag beneath my chair, by her bed. I knew she’d love it. I just had to find the right time.
I think I’d signed in to see Julia more times than even Chief. Julia’s main nurse, Betty, had even allowed me to stay after visiting hours, just long enough to watch Julia fall asleep.
I don’t think she’d ever admit it, but Betty had the hots for me. Worked out for me in the end because I got to stay longer with the woman I loved.
Last night I was allowed to stay overnight, sleeping in my chair with my jacket over my chest. I was grateful for this, though dreaded the sun that peeked through the blinds too early this morning. Today Julia would be released, but tomorrow she’d be gone forever. She looked perfect, resting soundly as the golden rays fell onto her lips. I wanted to kiss her, to awake her and hear her voice with what little time we had. Instead, I just admired her beauty, allowing her face to burn into my mind for everlasting visits.
My silent appreciation was cut short, as Chief barged in excitedly, awakening Julia. She shot up from bed, grabbing her chest as she observed the reality in her dreamlike state.
“Jules, I brought a few of your things.” He laid her purse and a duffle bag on the counter adjacent to me.
“It’s fine, Dad. It’s not like I was enjoying my slumber or anything.” She teased him. At least she seemed in better spirits compared to the other days. This made me smile.
“Sorry, hon. This was all I was able to salvage. Luckily, you left your purse at the ball that night, so your wallet is intact.”
“Yay,” she said sarcastically. “I guess I can fly back tomorrow morning. Back to reality I go.” She sighed loudly, falling back into the bed.
“You know you can stay here with me.”
“I don’t think so, Dad.” She patted his cheek like a compliant puppy. I’d never seen the chief be so obedient.
“Yeah, ok. Go ahead and get ready. I’ll be waiting for you outside.” He nodded at both of us as he left the room.
She caught me sporting a gigantic smile, which made her giggle. “So, my hero. How do I look?” Julia perked up in the hospital bed, showing off her jawline by moving side to side, puckering her lips. Her brunette waves had a gorgeous sheen to it. Complete perfection and I wished to call her mine. Yet, I knew I’d be impossible to do so. I needed to help set her free.
She pointed at her purse and duffle. I stood up, bringing the items to her. Fuck, she’s about the only woman who could make a lifeless hospital gown look hot as hell. In the interest of staying neutral, I decided to give her a decent answer, instead of a raunchy one.
“Here you go, sleeping beauty.” I scooted my chair closer to her bedside and reached for her precious small hands. I brushed my thumb over a small burn she received from the night of the fire. My hands were still bandaged, hurt from the beam I had to toss.
“Sexy, right? I guess we both have scars now,” she batted her eyes playfully. We’d have stories to tell for the rest of our lives. I could write a column about you. I can see the headlines now, ‘Hot Firefighter Risks His Life for…’”
She hesitated on the headline, but I could fill it in for her. ‘Hot Firefighter Risks His Life for Love.’ “I wish I’d gotten there sooner, Jules.” I said softly, looking into her hopeful green eyes. “It was stupid of me to act like a fucking child that night, and I’m sorry if I ever hurt you.” I sucked in big breath. “Truth is I had a dark past and until that night, it all resurfaced. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth about me, not right away anyway. But that was a clear mistake.” I squeezed the palm of her hands after my admission. I’m was not looking for her sympathy, because I don’t deserve it, but she deserved to know why I acted out.
